Someday
by Angel Usagi
Summary: Usagi and Mamoru break up. Usagi leaves the city to clear her head and comes back, only to find Mamoru there with another girl clinging to his arm. Complications arise, sparks fly, and she's forced to choose: Give into her feelings or live a new life.
1. The End?

Okay, so I took my other fic off , and I'm writing this one now, which will be much more dramatic and much better, I promise. Anyway, I have no idea how I got inspired for this, but I will update soon. Just remember to review! I live off reviews. No, really, I do. Oh, and sorry for the shortness of the chapter. Just an introduction, so keep your pants on, the other ones will be a lot longer. Enjoy!

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**Chapter One— The End?**

_This won't work._

_Why can't it? I know if we try, it will…_

_It just… won't. I'm sorry._

_None of those days meant anything to you? When we'd go rowing out on the lake, or take a walk through the park? Don't you remember any of it?_

_Of course I do._

_Then what's the problem?_

_There are too many complications. I can't explain them._

_You can't even tell me why?_

_No… I don't know how to say it._

_Try. Please, for me… I'm asking you as a friend, please._

_I don't think things are the same between us._

_What do you mean? Nothing's changed._

_I have._

_I haven't._

_I'm sorry._

_I know._

_I hope you can understand._

_I don't understand at all. One day, we were a happy couple, eating ice cream and walking along the sidewalk… And the next, we've suddenly grown apart? It makes no sense._

_It will someday._

_But it doesn't today._

_When you grow up more, you'll understand._

_Is that it? My age? Age is just a number._

_To you, maybe, but in my eyes, it's five whole years worth of living. You're only sixteen once; enjoy it._

_I want to enjoy it with you…_

_I'm afraid that isn't going to happen. You and I… We're in two completely different worlds._

_We're not that different._

_You have your dancing, your school, and your friends, while I have an empty apartment and a low-paying job. It's definitely more different than you think._

_We can work it out…_

_No, not this time. We can't keep going through all this over and over again. I can't take it anymore._

_I know I might not be the prettiest or the smartest person out there—_

_You're beautiful._

_I am?_

_Yes._

_Thank you._

_I'm sorry._

_Please stop saying that._

_I can't._

_Why?_

_Because I really am sorry._

_So… This is it, then?_

_I… guess so._

_I'm sorry._

_Now why are you saying it?_

_For loving you so much. I didn't know it was such a horrible thing._

_It wasn't._

_It was if this is how it's ending._

_It's not an ending. It's a beginning of something wonderful for both of us, I promise._

_More promises, huh?_

_This one I'm sure of._

_I can't believe this is it._

_Me neither._

_I'll miss you._

_I know._

_Will you miss me?_

… _I can't say that._

_Why?_

_It would hurt too much._

_I love you._

_I love you, too._

_Mamo-chan…_

_Usako…_

_

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That was the day my heart died. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but that's exactly how it felt. Almost as if it went numb inside my chest and stopped working, no matter how much I tried, and wouldn't come back alive. I never thought it would again. There were many things that day I never thought would happen.

I never fully understood the meaning of why we broke up. I guess half of it was my age, but I had a throbbing feeling in my gut, telling me there was something else. I couldn't exactly place what it was, but it was definitely present, digging into my thoughts and remaining there.

I remember that month well, to this day. Day after day, I would sit in my room, buried up in the warmth of my comforters, letting the tears soak into my pillow. I would lie there watching the sun set into the fading horizon, then dissolve at night, replaced by a litter of twinkling stars. My head felt heavy those days, sometimes blocking my ability to think clearly, and other times I would think just fine. More often than I'd like, I would wonder what Mamoru was doing at that exact moment.

Was he sprawled out onto his bed, with library books scattered along the sheets, quietly holding one in his hand as he read it? Or maybe he was in the living room, drowning his thoughts away in a box of dark chocolates, watching some mindless television show? Maybe he even was standing out on the balcony, his shirt half open to reveal the skin I rarely got to touch, while he watched the stars burning in the sky, just like I did. In any and every way, I still missed him, as much as my instincts protested.

My school was worried after three straight weeks of my absence. My mother kept calling and saying that I had some terrible disease, but we both knew better. My dad said nothing about it. Even my brother was nice to me. Once and awhile he would bring a bowl of creamy vanilla ice cream up to my room as a peace offering. Usually I'd turn him down and he'd be on his way, but one time I asked for him to say, which he did, and we spent the rest of the night talking about anything that came to our minds. It opened my eyes a little more, and made me really appreciate him, even though most of the time he was an ungrateful brat; in the end, I was thankful he was there for me, despite the fighting. Finally, my mother decided it was time for me to go out into the world. I had missed way too much schoolwork, anyway, so I had to go, no matter what.

Fourteen days passed.

Some called and wished me well, but I didn't pay too much attention to the gestures. It was as if nearly every student, male and female, knew I had a broken, unmendable heart, and that made me feel uneasy to be that open, that vulnerable. I, for once in my life, simply wanted to be left alone. Even my friends didn't hold a place in my heart, as much as I love them; something broke, more or less. Time doesn't really heal; it only creates tolerability, to the point where the mention of their name won't trigger a bursting seam in your heart. My friends, thankfully, understood and kept their distance, saying they had a shoulder to cry on, if needed. I just laughed hollowly and told them, 'I'd need a lot more than one shoulder sleeve to dry up the tears'.

After that slow, painful month was over, I finally came to a realization: There was no possible way I was going to get over this, staying here, so close to the source of my heartbreak. So, I made my own decision, for myself, not him.

I decided to leave Tokyo. I didn't care where I went; I just needed to go _somewhere_, anywhere that the memories didn't stain every inch of concrete; somewhere entirely separate from him. Living here didn't seem to be an option anymore. When I told my parents about this, it took some time to register in their minds, then after a few fights and apologies between them, they figured it was a good idea for me to get away, to learn on my own. I loved them so much for that. In any other situation they might've snubbed the idea.

I'll never, ever forget the day I left. The very memory of it is imprinted onto my mind. It was a slightly cool spring day, full of birds chirping and life shining from corner to corner. You could almost reach out and touch, feel the energy that was coming from the joy of young children playing, couples strolling along, holding hands, and families gathering for their once-in-lifetime togetherness.

I was at our favorite park. Ichi-No-Hashi. Leaning against a wooden railing, the strong current below whirred in steadiness, and I glanced up at the clear blue sky, soaking in the bright rays the sun was shining down. This was the last time I'd be standing here for awhile, enjoying the laughter around me, and nearly everything about this town I loved. _Nearly_. That's when my expression darkened over. There was still a large chunk of this I had to leave behind: Mamoru. He held my heart in his hand, knowing the kind of power he had, and broke it. Shattered. I silently wondered if he felt the same, or if I was nothing more than a nuisance, a passing ghost in his life unable to reach any stretch of his being. I hadn't seen him ever since I ran into my room later after we spoke, sobbing wildly, soon after my mother coming in to gather me in her arms, to whisper comforting words. That was a time that seemed hard to grasp, as it all blended into one horribly disfigured chunk. No one section could be extracted and analyzed, because time froze. Ice looks the same no matter how you chop it up.

I suddenly felt as if someone was standing near me, near enough to hear breathing. My heart pounded against my ribcage; the towering form, the strong presence, and the light, almost unnoticeable scent of roses. I knew it was Mamoru. He knew I knew. Worst of all, we both knew and still said nothing, for the longest time. It was torturous.

"How are you doing?" his words flowed so smoothly, as if nothing was wrong. Not a care in the world. His hands were shoved into the depths of his jean pockets. He had on his motorcycle jacket. I missed the unmistakable scent embedded into that jacket. He'd only wear it whenever he went out for a quick grocery store run, but he enjoyed his bike more than he admitted. It was a dangerous side few had the pleasure of seeing, rather than the composed beautiful shell he shows the world. It made me happy, knowing that small detail about him. It's one of those things that can't be forgotten.

I shrugged, surprisingly nonchalant. "Fine."

I could tell he was surprised by my shortened response. He ignored that and changed the subject. "I heard you were leaving."

"Yeah," I said plainly, as if it was common knowledge. As much as I fought, I noticed that the deep vibration in his voice, how it felt so familiar. Soothing. I'd been wanting that velvety smoothness to grace my ears, and here it was. I could feel the tears sting against the corner of my eyes, but I forced them back with effort. "From who?"

"Rei. I stop over at the temple sometimes to pray and she's always there."

"Oh."

"Where are you going?" he continued as if ours was a normal, everyday conversation, like between two lonely strangers who happened upon each other in their daily strolls. Does this even, in the slightest bit, kill him as much as it does me?

"America."

"But… You don't know how to speak English. You'll be completely lost."

"I can take care of myself, Mamoru-san," I spat coldly, leaving him to noticeably flinch at the lack of the personal nickname for him. But he knew there was nothing he could say to refute.

"How will you survive?"

"My mother's giving me money, and she'll wire any more I'd need in the future, and so will my dad. I'm taking English classes there and I'll be a transfer student, living with an average American family. It'll be … a good experience."

"Sounds like you have this all planned out," he said, shoulders hung, defeated. Faintly I noticed as he tilted his head toward the sky, he had that same pleasant thinking expression on his face. He looked adorably confused, but questioning and carefully thoughtful, all at once; his dark brows furrowed slightly, and his lips pursed, just enough so they almost formed a pout. Whenever he got that look, I had a feeling he had something profound, locked in the confines, behind his lips. He always had something to say, but refused to let it faze him. What really bothered me was how my stomach twisted when I recognized that look, and as always, how wonderfully his clothes clung to his body. I had to tear my eyes away before I lost my will. He can't win.

I finally responded: "Yeah, I've had plenty of time to think about it."

He nodded his head, as I could see from the corner of my eye, his head then hanging down a bit, but barely noticeable enough.

His tone shifted. "It's been hard, you know, for me."

"What's been hard?" I questioned nonchalantly, noting his puzzling expression.

He spoke harshly, as if I meant to push something unwillingly, "You know what, Usako."

"Mamoru-san…" I began firmly, gripping my thin fingers on the railing. "'Usako' is a name for lovers. I'm not that anymore. Please call me Usagi."

He nodded once again, letting out a light sigh, and agreed, "Right, Usagi, sorry."

"It's all right." A moment of silence passed. I wanted to walk away from him right now before I broke out of my emotionless façade and expressed how much torment I was feeling inside at that very moment, just from him standing there, flooding back so many unwanted memories.

"When are you leaving?" he finally questioned.

"Today," I stated, staring out into the distance. I was afraid that if I looked him in the eye that I might break down crying and show him I hadn't grown up at all. No, I had to stay strong, for my own sake.

"Oh," he swallowed, growing a softer tone. "That's … really soon."

"I have to go as soon as possible."

"Why?" he asked, even though he knew very well why.

"To get away."

"From me?" he sounded dejected, hopeless, almost.

"I guess you could say that. My life doesn't revolve around you, you know. I'm doing this to make myself a better person, not just because you and I broke up, okay?"

"All right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

He inched a bit closer to me, making my heart pound faster, though I kept it from reading all over my face, which tended to happen. An open book, my mother would say. I'd be no good at gambling, or apparently, hiding my emotions.

"Are you really all right?" he prodded, genuine concern in his voice.

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head at the question. "Actually, I feel like complete crap, but I guess that's what happens when you're dumped after over two years of commitment with someone you really cared for. Unless I was supposed to feel happy, then I guess I don't know anything anymore, huh? They really need a handbook for this sort of thing."

A weak silence weaved over us for a few minutes after I ended my speech, only the ripple of the water splashing up against the small boulders, tucked in the river below, filling the air. He refused to look in my direction now.

Finally, he spoke, his voice much weaker than I have ever heard it before, "I'll miss you."

Those words nearly made me want to throw myself in his arms, pretend everything was okay, pretend I could forget all the heartbreak he put me through and give up my pride for two moments of feeling loved. Two glorious moments. But I couldn't this time. I tried my best to keep an expressionless face as I turned fully to face him, past the point of pleasantries. The blueness in our eyes clashed like an enormous ocean, and my mouth became dry; I lost my voice completely.

Then my words came out sternly.

"I won't."

That's all I said before turning away. I couldn't bear to look.. I kept on reminding myself that he had to feel this sort of hurt in order to learn how much I loved him. I know he had never seen me so cold, like he was toward me. Now, I guess, he knew how it felt.

As I was walking away, I could've sworn I heard some sort of protest slipping from his mouth and travelling through the wind, waiting for me to hear, but falling short. Hot tears continued to burn harshly against my eyelids as I walked, back upright, not daring to look back.


	2. No More Crying

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Thanks for all the great reviews! They make my day. Sorry this chapter is, once again, kind of short… But we're just getting into the plot! Plus, it's only been a day since the last chapter. Got this one out quick. Anyway, sorry if it's a little boring, but it'll get a lot better as it goes on. Remember to tell me what you think!

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Chapter Two— No More Crying 

I stood up on my tiptoes, trying my best to look past all the very tall heads in front of me. Even in three-inch high heels, I still felt like the shortest person alive. Not that I mind it too much. Being short is fun when I want to go on kiddy rides and they'll let me because I'm really small. Sure, there's the teasing, but I guess it's a trade-off.

Eventually, I spotted a noticeable heap of bright blonde hair with a red bow tied within it. Squealing, I charged straight toward the hair and collided with her body, hugging it close to me. At first, she jumped at the sudden action, then she turned around only to spot me, a goofy smile held on my features.

"Usa-chan!" Minako squeaked happily, enveloping me in the same kind of forceful hug I had given her. I swear you could mistake the two of us for identical twins, by the way we looked and acted so similar. It's kind of weird sometimes, the way we are so alike. We've called each other sisters for as long as I could remember, even though we really weren't. Anyone's better than having the annoying Shingo for a sibling.

After finishing my hug with Minako, I turned to the rest of my best friends, giving each of them tight hugs.

Makoto smiled when we broke off our hug, saying, "We missed you so much! You have no idea. Everything was so dull around here."

"Yeah, we didn't have to put up with your loud wailing every single day," Rei started off somewhat bitterly, then her tone softened. "I did miss it in a weird way, though."

"Yes… Nothing seemed right without you," Ami added thoughtfully.

"Thanks, guys, that means a lot to me. I'm really glad to be home. I even missed your stupid bossiness, Rei," I told them, showing off one of my trademark bright smiles. They all let out a joyful laugh, with the exception of Rei, who only crossed her arms in response.

"You think you'd learn some manners after spending so much time over there, but I guess not," Rei said, sticking her nose up in the air slightly, yet still holding a happy smile on her face. I knew she couldn't stand a day without arguing with me and liked the fact that I was back.

"Yeah right, and I guess that means _you_ learned some manners. I don't see that, though," I retorted playfully.

"I have plenty of manners!"

I snorted. "Yeah, maybe for a horse's ass."

"Shut up, BLONDIE."

"Hey, I resent that!" Minako joined in for a second, while the others continued to watch us in amazement. Even after all that time, we still picked up where we left off and bickered like two old married people. Can't say it isn't fun, though.

Makoto glanced around a bit, noticing the crowds forming around and beginning to shove us a bit. "Okay, okay, that's enough out of you guys. We should leave this zoo they call an airport before we start getting trampled on by some weird animals."

"Hey, Rei-chan, maybe you'll find some of your family here," I commented jokingly, though it didn't register through her brain at first.

"Let's go to my place! I have ice cream and other munchies!" Minako exclaimed to tempt me.

"Ice cream? What are we waiting here for? Lets go!" I grabbed Minako's arm and dragged her away, the rest of them soon following behind us.

I could hear Rei after I had been running for a bit, shouting, "HEY! THAT WASN'T FUNNY, BAKA!"

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Minako and I had spoken on the phone over the time I was gone, nearly every single day. We were so comfortable with each other that there were no awkward pauses when we spoke, just random conversations about daily events and how our lives were going on separate parts of the world.

I would call her late at night, which to me was around eleven, and tell her about my English lessons. I'd remark on how I was doing, or tell her some word and even maybe a sentence that I had learned that day. It took me months to get the pronunciation right, and though I practiced, I still had what they called an 'accent' in my words. To me, they had the accent. Anyway, I eventually learned all the basic phrases and words, enough to get me day by day. By the time my visit was almost over, I had mastered the language, and could speak normally as if I was speaking it all my life.

Minako would tell me how proud of me she was, then go on about how she had been "discovered" by some hot Italian photographer while sitting in a café ordering her usual latte. She told me about her first real photo shoot and how she became famous so quickly that she became known around Tokyo the "new bow-haired teenage model". Her bright red bow was her trademark, and I wasn't surprised. She had worn that thing for as long as I knew her.

It wasn't any surprise to see her apartment, either, when it showed to be a very high-class place. Fancy carpeting, windows that opened the whole apartment into view of the city below, reproductions of famous paintings scattered here and there, and the color orange as far as the eye could see. Orange pillows, orange refrigerator (which I didn't even know was a possible color for one), orange grand piano (that she didn't know how to play), orange walls; orange everything.

Each of us took a comfortable seat in the orange-paved living room, me choosing to seat myself on the long, feather-soft couch, Minako taking a seat next to me. I glanced around, marveling at the brightness the room showed, and how comfortable it felt. Not to mention the big screen television sitting straight across from us on the wall.

"Wow, Minako-chan, you're loaded!" I commented, causing her to giggle.

"Yeah, well, that's what you get for being a famous model," she replied while flipping her hair over her shoulder dramatically and winking for effect.

"You're not _that_ famous," Rei grumbled.

"I think what she's trying to say is that you shouldn't get too cocky about it," Makoto added to soften Rei's words.

"Cocky! She's practically a fucking walking, talking definition of cocky!"

"Hey!" Minako shouted, then grinned slightly. "I can't help it if the public loves such a wonderful person such as me!"

"Oh, well, I stand corrected," Rei said sarcastically, Minako throwing her an air-kiss. Rei just shook her head at the blonde.

"Come on, guys, we should be celebrating Usagi's return! Let's not talk about Minako's ego for once, hmm?" Makoto suggested, but I could tell she just wanted to end Minako's ego-trip. I couldn't blame her. Sometimes you'd think she was joking by how into herself she was. That was possibly the only downside to her personality: her ego. It could definitely be deflated a bit. Well, okay, a lot.

"Yeah, I agree. I have to say, Usagi-chan, you look really nice," Ami commented after being silent for awhile, like she usually was. I glanced down at myself, blinking. Sure, my hips had widened a bit, my chest growing, and slimmer from working out, but I was no supermodel. In my younger years, I was slightly chubby from eating so much junk food and never exercising, aside from the daily morning rush to school, which did help somewhat. I eat better now, but sometimes the chocolate cake or cookies were too hard to resist. I still had baby fat back then, too, which now had almost all faded away, except in my cheeks, giving me that baby-ish look. I liked that look, though.

I then replied modestly, really not believing it, "Thanks, but I'm not that great, Ami-chan."

"Oh, don't give me that!" Minako interjected. Her eyes were a bit wide at my answer, I'm guessing. "You look great! I mean, long legs, slender waist, soft skin, curves in all the right places… You're definitely model material! Since you _are_ nearly my twin, I guess it's only natural."

I laughed at the thought of it. "Right, I so could walk down runways in tight little bikinis without dying from embarrassment. Be serious!"

"I am serious! You're exactly what they look for, believe me. Maybe I could take you to the agency and make you a portfolio! Ooh and I could recommend you! We could be the blonde bombshell twins of Tokyo!"

Blinking, I turned slightly red at the barricade of compliments I was getting. "Don't even think about it, Mina-chan. There's no possible way I could be a model. Can we change the subject, _please_?"

"Oh, that's right, I forgot! You're the dancer and not into the whole model thing," Minako realized, nodding her head. I almost laughed at her usage of me as "the dancer". I would go on night and night again about how I had joined a dance studio, not only to hear all the new music America had, but to also learn how to dance better. I had wanted to learn ever since I was ten. All the American music videos had women performing hard-looking dance moves to hip-hop sounding music. Ever since then, I wanted to learn how. And I did.

It wasn't an easy task, going every single day after my English lessons, being taught the mechanics of dancing. It was three weeks before I actually got to try and dance. I was terrible first off, then got better and better. After what seemed like ages, I danced with swift movements to every beat of the songs, moving myself as if I was floating on the air. Even I began to notice how much better I had gotten. The actual moves took a long time to get used to, especially any hard ones in particular, but soon I could do them easily. I loved every minute of it.

One day, as I was about to start stretching before the class was to begin, my dance teacher walked in the room and asked me, "What are you doing here?"

The question confused me, and I removed myself from the leg stretching position. Slowly, I said, "What do you mean?"

She showed me a gentle smile, almost secretive. "You've almost surpassed my skills. There's nothing more you can learn from me. The rest you'll have to gain on your own."

That made me feel on top of the world. Me, nearly knowing more than a teacher? That was definitely unheard of, especially for someone like me. After she had said that, I hugged her tightly and rushed out of the studio to call Minako. All she said was, "Guess we're gonna have to take you clubbing when you get back, huh?"

I had told her that's not what I wanted to do with my life, no matter how much I loved it. I went to a wonderful American high school that accepted me as a transfer student. Some made fun of me; others helped me through learning English and how everything worked. I made many new friends, but none of them nearly as close as I was with Minako, Rei, Ami, or Makoto. My grades were horrible at the beginning, with the usual D's and F's. Slowly, I became more determined to get good grades for many reasons and went to high B's and C's. Still no A's, but hey, I'm not _that_ smart. I still needed to get into college, as my dad told me every time I talked to him over the phone. He was proud of me nonetheless.

"I hope it's not ballet dancing. I'd be blinded for life if you wore those tights," Rei told me, trying to hold in a laugh. I could tell she was imagining me falling flat on my face while trying to even stand on my toes.

"For your information, Pyro, I happen to hate ballet dancing. Tried it. Standing on your toes is a lot harder than it looks. The only reason I stayed for a week in that class was to watch all the guys in tights! Now that's something I could've gotten used to."

Makoto's ears perked up at the word 'guys', and she added enthusiastically, "Amen to that!" We all shared a laugh. I guess her boy-crazy phase still hasn't faded away in the least. Can't say I expected it to. Most likely she'll love boys until she's eighty-years-old, in a creaky wheelchair, whistling and remarking "Hey, sexy!" at any cute, young guy that passes her way.

"That reminds me! I completely forgot to tell Motoki you came back into town! Shit, we'd better get to the arcade fast!" Minako exclaimed, rushing into her bedroom at light speed.

"Going to put on more make-up," Makoto said, sighing. "It'll be hours before we'd even get to the arcade."

Ami giggled lightly, defending her friend by saying, "You know that she always wants to look her best for him."

"Ever since they got together, all we hear is 'Motoki this' and 'Motoki that'. 'Oh, did you see that cute way he sneezed? I could just die!' Well, it would stop the pain of us having to listen to her stories," Rei told us as she stood up, stretching her muscles from sitting so much on the floor.

"Give her a break, Rei-chan. She's been sprung over the guy forever," I retorted, also standing up.

"Oh, and you haven't?"

My cheeks darkened with a light pink color. "That's history! You know that!"

Rei waved her hand dismissingly and grabbed the long chain of keys off the coffee table, being our chauffeur, and said, "Yeah, yeah, I know. He's like a brother you never had, blah, blah, blah. Still, I love bringing it up."

"She _does_ have a brother," Makoto pointed out the obvious. All of us heard Minako in the background, saying how she dropped something, followed by a lovely curse word.

"Brother? What brother?" I asked innocently. We all shared a laugh, one I was getting used to right now, and heard a loud crashing sound in the back, with Minako yelling out, "FUCK! MY DAMN FOOT!"

Rei eyed her bedroom while Minako continued her cursing streak, asking casually, "Think we should check on the baka?"

"Nah, probably just dropped her purse on her foot again," Makoto said, amused.

"Oh, right, the purse that has every single color and shade of eye shadow possible in it."

"Think she'll notice I borrowed her green one?"

"MAKO-CHAAAN!" Minako sounded from the bedroom, sounding furious.

"Guess that answers your question," I told her, giggling to myself.

It was good to finally be back.

-----

"Motoki-chan!" I yelled out at the older blonde, tackling him into a hug. Surprise was written all over his face, but he soon came to his senses and returned the hug.

"Usagi-chan! It's been so long! You look great!" Motoki commented, smiling sweetly as he always did. Two dimples could barely be seen at the corners of his mouth. I could tell he glanced over my form for a quick second, snapping back into reality before he went too far. He was always such a gentleman. Some of those guys I had met after I left were complete pigs and only cared about my body. I don't see why they all looked so damn much. "When did you get back?"

"Just a couple hours ago."

"And you didn't call me! Here I thought I was a good friend of yours," he told me jokingly, pretending to be hurt.

I giggled at his reaction, standing up on my toes, and patted the top of his head lightly. "Sorry, Motoki-chan. I had to catch up with the girls. You know how it is."

He laughed as well, nodding his head. "Yeah, I do."

Minako stepped in the conversation, hands on her hips, she asked him, "So, no greeting for your wonderful girlfriend, I see? Must I remind you _who_ picked you up when your crappy car broke down, _and_ who stayed for three full hours at the police station with you after you ran a red light after _very_ stupidly argued with the police man about how you were doing a public service?"

"Hey, my car isn't crappy!"

"Motoki-chan…" she trailed off, faking anger as if she was his mother scolding him for taking a cookie out of the jar before dinnertime.

He chuckled a bit and wrapped Minako in a warm hug, planting a kiss on her cheek, which she welcomed fully. "Sorry, sorry, you know I love you."

"Of course. Who doesn't?"

"You mean you want a list? But that would take hours, and I want food now!" Rei said, while we all let out a laugh at the blonde.

"Very funny."

Motoki released her from his hug, much to Minako's disappointment, and said, "Why didn't you just say so? The usual for each of you, coming right up! And the same for you, Usagi?"

"Two cheeseburgers, a chocolate milkshake, and fries! What, do you think I'd honestly forget how good your food tasted? Come on!" I beamed, walking over to our old booth, we all took a seat and continued our conversation, catching up on times I wasn't here for.

Ami told me she was pulling off the usual A's in every course and was planning on applying to Harvard in America as soon as possible. Her study was, of course, medicine. She wanted to follow in the footsteps of her mother. Who could blame her? Doctors make loads of cash! She told me, though, that it wasn't about the money. Yeah, sure.

Rei said that the temple's business was doing very well. She and Yuuchiro had a fling for a couple short months, but soon broke it off, and he left for good. Now she was on the prowl for a boyfriend, but still missed him sometimes. Her grandfather, still as energetic as ever, kept Rei busy with cleaning and helping out with their charm shop.

Makoto, also looking for a boyfriend of her own, kept on with her cooking and was learning new recipes every day. She said that cooking was a way to a man's heart, so she had to try harder and harder to be a better cook to keep a steady boyfriend. She was planning on going to cooking school soon, since she loved doing it so much, anyway. Not only that, but she's really good. Especially at making chocolate chip cookies! Those are the best.

I didn't have to ask Minako for any information about her life, since we had kept close touch. It was still great to hear every horrid date she went on before meeting Motoki. Then, once again, she went on about how great he is and how much she loved him. It was sweet, but also sickening, since we all have heard this so many times before it nearly made us want to hurl.

We were having a conversation filled with laughs and forgotten memories, my food almost gone by now, when it happened. There were many people walking along the streets at this time of day, nothing unusual, and that's when a certain couple happened to pass by the large window next to the booth. I glanced over on instinct and nearly choked on the fry that was halfway down my throat.

Midnight black hair, cool blue eyes, a strong figure, a girl dangling by the arm. Mamoru. At that very second, he passed by the window, smiling down happily at the brunette who seemed to be chattering away about her day without another care in the world. She laughed at something she had said, while his smile widened a bit. Then they were gone.

I felt like I was going to throw up. He looked so… happy without me. Almost as if I didn't ever exist. I had to be real about this, though. I mean, did I expect him to be walking around downheartedly down the street, alone? Half of me hoped so, but the other half knew the truth. He was wonderful, nearly rich from inheritance, and was incredibly handsome. Sexy was more like it. Not much changed from what I could tell. He looked a little skinnier and had a slightly darker skin tone, but that's it.

I was just about to break down right then, crying, wishing that were me telling him every single little detail about my day, and seeing him smiling down lovingly at me. I couldn't though, for his sake and my own. He deserved way better than me, and by the looks of it, he already found someone way better than I ever could be. I managed to keep any tears held in my eyes, as I took in a weak breath, trying my best to pretend I had been choking on my French fry. I was, but I couldn't let them know why. At least not right now. I had to pretend I was over him, no matter how much it hurt.

"Are you okay, Usa-chan?" Minako questioned me, pounding her hand against my back to help me, making me believe there was going to be a bruise there tomorrow.

I pretended to swallow on the French fry, everyone's eyes on me, while I nodded my head wearily. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." The weakness of my voice was thought to be from my loss of air, but it wasn't. It was from the tears I had choked down into my chest, to be absorbed back into my body where they came from.

It was like I never saw him, for all they knew. It had to stay that way. I had to avoid Mamo-ch— Mamoru, no matter what. If I talked to him, I know my heart couldn't take all the feelings flooding back to me, all the feelings I never lost for him. I don't want it broken again.

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	3. Usagi?

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Here we go, another (somewhat longer and better) chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed the last one. Thanks again for the reviews! They're always really nice to read. Remember to give me more, even if you've already reviewed. I like the feedback. Well, not much else to say. I'll get the next chapter out soon. Bye!

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Chapter Three— Usagi? 

Minako held me in her arms for nearly a full ten minutes before finally letting me go. I breathed in deeply, feeling like my lungs could give out any second at the affection she was showing.

"You sure you don't wanna hang out with us for a bit more? We could scope out the guys, or fling paper wads at people's heads at the movies," she suggested.

"No, really, it's okay. I'm really tired from the trip. Anyway, I need to see my parents. It's been way too long and I miss them a lot."

Minako smiled. "Yeah, I know. Your mom's gonna be so happy when she sees you."

"Yeah…"

She noticed the slight sadness in my voice. "Are you okay?"

Smiling reassuringly, I told her, "Yeah, of course! I'm back home and happier than ever."

"All right… If you say so."

"I promise we'll hang out tomorrow, okay?" I asked as she handed me the last of my pink-colored luggage, weighing nearly ten pounds each. I guess I really didn't need to buy all those clothes in America. Some of it was just too hard to resist!

"Sure! Call me and we'll figure it all out," she said finally. Giving me a short hug, she waved as she dashed off to an impatient Rei sitting at the driver's wheel. I could hear a, "Geeze, you took long enough!" from her, while Minako retorted with something of her own. I couldn't hear since I was already making my way up to the house.

Setting a piece of my luggage down for a second, I opened the door without knocking, poking my head through the crack. I smiled when I saw my dad and Shingo watching some dramatic soap opera. Both seemed to be bored out of their minds, while my mom, who sat next to both of them, almost looked like she was going to cry. Well, looks like mom still is getting her way with everything. That's what's so great about her.

Pushing the door with my free hand forcefully, I quickly yelled, "I'M BAAACK!"

Shingo jumped in surprise, dad nearly spilled the popcorn on his lap onto the floor (which would've been a tragedy since popcorn is so yummy), and mom blinked in surprise as she turned her attention away from the television.

Before I knew what hit me, my mother had her arms wrapped around me, while my father did the same, once again making me lose air.

"Oh, Usagi-chan! We missed you so much! How have you been? Was the plane trip all right? Are you tired?" Mom dribbled on with her questions. That's my mother for you, always worrying about her children. I guess I can't blame her. It's hard not seeing your family for so long.

I laughed a bit at her questions. "I'm okay, really! Can I breathe now?"

They both let go of their vice grip. Dad gave me a once-over, blinking his eyes, he said, "Usa… You've… grown."

"Yeah, I grew three whole inches. Isn't it great? I'm not a midget anymore!"

He raised his eyebrows toward me, shaking his head, he directed his eyes down past my chin for a second, gesturing with his head. "No, I meant… those."

"DAAAAD!" I wailed, not believing he was actually saying something like that to me. So what if my chest got bigger? Is there a law against it? I don't think so!

"Have any boys been staring? Because I still have my shot gun…"

"NO! Don't even mention that thing. You've scared enough guys with that. Even Motoki was scared… And he's only my friend."

"You mean that older blonde boy? I saw the way he looked at you. Nobody gets away with looking at my baby girl like that…" he trailed off, looking nearly psychotic.

"Dad, he was a _friend_. Get over it, already."

"Still, I don't like the way he looked at you, and now that you have… _those_… he might just try something."

I shook my head. I can't believe he still thought Motoki would actually do anything. He's one of the nicest guys I know. Even if I did still like him that way, there's no possible way he would try something, ever. The idea of it is just… weird. It'd be like dating my big brother… Eww.

"They're called _breasts_! And, yeah, I have them. It doesn't mean I'll suddenly get molested!"

"Usagi Tsukino, you do not use that kind of language around your father!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, already embarrassed enough. I hope he'll drop this already.

"Besides, I don't trust any boy these days. You shouldn't, either."

"Here we go again…" my mother and I exchanged glances, both knowing exactly what was coming next.

"In my day, we were respectful to our girlfriend's parents. The first, yes, the _first_ date I went out with your mother, I walked up to her door and met her parents. I even talked with them for a long time before the date started. Then, you know what I did?"

"Asked for her hand in marriage?" I asked, trying my best to be serious, though I've heard this story a million times before.

"No! That wasn't until later on. Anyway, I told them exactly where we would be and told them we would be back no later than nine. That's the kind of respect boys these days should show."

"You _do_ remember how that night ended, Kenji?" my mother questioned. "We got home past eleven. And you know very well that every second you talked to my parents, you hated it. You were ranting about it for hours about how meddlesome they were instead of paying an ounce of attention to me."

"Yes, well…" My father cleared his throat. "At least I showed them respect."

"Behind their backs you didn't."

"As long as they didn't know about it, it didn't matter."

My mother put her hands on her hips, while I continued watching them argue. "So you'd want some boy to ring the doorbell, pretend to like you, and say otherwise behind your back?"

"No, because I would be able to tell he was no good the moment he'd step foot in this house. I have an intuition about these things."

"Good thing my father didn't have that gift, or else he'd be able to smell your stench a mile away," my mother commented, while my brother scoffed in the background, who had turned some of his attention to their conversation instead of the soap opera.

"This isn't about me, Ikuko. This is about keeping our daughter safe from harm."

"She'll be fine."

"Not if she goes out with any boys."

She let out a loud sigh, rubbing her temples as if she had a pounding migraine, which could happen easily by just listening to my dad's arguments. "I give up."

"My intuition is always right, Usagi. I never trusted that one boy you went out with… What was his name? Myuki…? Miko…?"

"Mamoru," I finished quietly. I wanted to forget him ever since I saw him passing by the arcade window, but of course he still brought it up. I hung my head down a bit at the mention of his name. It's not his fault, I never told him we broke up. He thought I was just depressed about school. If I told him, he would try to set me up with some stupid guy from his company that made me believe that there was a stick plowed right up their ass. I had to go through with it once; I wouldn't again.

He nodded, exclaiming, "Right! I never trusted that one. Why, he didn't even introduce himself to us after you two went out for a month! What kind of respectable young man does that? I'll tell you, not that one."

I'm guessing my mother noticed how my face fell at his name, and stepped in, "Now, Kenji, calm down. She looks great, with or without… those. And she's back here in one piece, so leave the poor girl alone…"

My father finally gave up and strolled away from us, plopping on the couch next to my brother, whose eyes were permanently glued to the television screen. It was still playing the soap opera.

"Shingo! Say hello to your sister!" my mother commanded.

Shingo was now wrapped up in the soap opera, for some reason, and waved his hand behind his head as some kind of weird greeting. You could just feel the love he showed toward his own big sister to even give me a wave.

"Come on, sweetie, let's go get you unpacked," my mother smiled sadly, knowing exactly what I was thinking at the moment, as she always did. We picked up my bags and walked up the winding staircase.

"Don't think I'm finished with this conversation, missy!" I heard my dad shout just before we disappeared up into the second floor.

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"I can't it's been two whole years since I've seen my baby girl…" my mother said happily as she helped me put away everything I packed away into my suitcases. My room looked so weird. It was nearly empty since I had taken a lot with me, with exception of the furniture. It would take awhile to settle back in and get used to living here again. It took three months in America. Hopefully it wouldn't take as long now.

I placed my furry stuffed bunny against my pillow as I replied, "Yeah, two years is definitely a long time."

"I wish I could've called you more. It's too bad long distance costs so much these days."

"I know. Minako had no problem with it, having all that money, and all. I envy her so much."

She nodded, smiling gently. "She's certainly done well for herself. Being a model is a tough thing to do. Having to pose all day, wear those odd clothes, and have the media tracking you down. It's a hard life, but I know she can handle it."

"I'm sure she doesn't mind any of that. Especially the part about the media," I laughed, flopping down onto the soft blue comforter on my bed, yellow stars and moons scattered along it. My mother also stopped unpacking, taking a seat beside me on the bed, she let her eyes trail around the room for awhile.

"You know, I've been in here many times since you left," she said after a pause.

I tilted my head to the side. "Really?"

"Yes… It was really tough to part with you. Every once and awhile, I would sit on your bed and wonder what you were doing while I was sitting there. I even caught your brother in here once. He was sitting on the windowsill, and when I asked him what he was doing here, he said 'To watch the birds.' It was obvious he missed you, though. We all did."

"It was hard for me, too. I mean, I didn't know anybody there. Not to mention I barely spoke any English at first. The family I stayed with helped me a lot. I really enjoyed being there, but… I still would wake up sometimes and think I was in my own bedroom, then realize I was still in America."

She placed her arm around my shoulders, rubbing the side of my arm with her hand comfortingly. A smile lit up my face, remembering when she used to do this after I had gotten hurt somehow. It felt good.

"You're here now, and that's all that matters, right?" she questioned me in her optimistic way.

"Right."

She bit on the side of her lip, which usually signaled that there was something she wanted to say, but was afraid to say it. I watched her for a second, waiting for whatever it was.

"Usagi-chan… Have you seen Mamoru yet?"

I let out a defeated sigh. "Yeah. He was with some girl."

"Oh, dear… That's what I was afraid of. He's… well, he's been dating that girl for some time. I saw them walking down the street a couple of weeks ago. I just hoped you wouldn't have seen them. I know it must hurt."

Leaning into her embrace, I buried my head into her shirt, while she began to stroke the blonde stray hairs out of my face. "Mom… He looked so happy. I… I don't want it to hurt this much. It shouldn't hurt this much."

"You don't deserve to go through this, Usagi. No one does. You still love him. Seeing him with another woman will hurt no matter what."

"A prettier, probably smarter women," I added, my voice muffled by the material of her shirt. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, but I held them back, taking in a deep breath to keep them inside.

"Usagi…" She said, stroking the side of my cheek gently with her finger. "You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman. You're eighteen-years-old and vibrant as ever. If he can't see what a wonderful person you are, then he never deserved you in the first place."

"I wish I could believe that…"

"I wish the same thing. I know this hurts to say, but maybe, since he's moved on… You should move on, too. I know you love him, but sometimes it's better to love and lost than never to love at all." I laughed sadly at the old proverb, lifting my head up a bit to wipe the tears out of my eyes. She gently brushed at the sides of my eyes, smiling down softly. "You have no idea how proud I am to be your mother."

I returned her smile with one of my own, and sat fully up onto my bed, sniffling. "You're right, mom. I should move on. I haven't dated ever since we broke up. Maybe if I move on, it'll get my mind off him."

I said the words, but I knew in my heart that they couldn't be true. I would never forget him; his caresses, his sweet kisses, his warm hugs. Everything about him I loved. I just wish he felt the same about me. Every time I would express my feelings, he would say 'Thank you', and that's it. Sometimes 'I love you', but only if I said it first. Come to think of it, he hadn't said he loved me before I said it to him once in our relationship. Maybe… he didn't feel that way and only said it to make me feel better. Just thinking about it made my stomach churn.

"I hope so. No boy is worth your tears."

I nodded. Though I was really thinking, '_He is_.'

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I woke up around seven in the morning, in my own bed, for once. I wanted so badly to fall back asleep, but my thoughts got in the way. I love Mamoru with all my heart. I don't think anything is going to change that. Is mom right, though? Could I really love someone else as much as I love him? Well, maybe not as much, but close to it.

She was right. I needed to get out of this slump. It's been long overdue, and soon I'll be past my expiration date. I mean, I can't mope around until I'm some thirty-year-old, waiting for him to come back, could I? What kind of life would that be? Not one I thought I'd ever live. I figured we would get married, have children, and I would be a housewife. That was my dream for the longest time. Now, things aren't the same anymore. I actually had decent grades, which is much more than I ever thought I could have, and sometimes I even wonder what it would be like to go to a nice college. Maybe become a career woman. I don't know…

Sighing in frustration, I threw the comforter off me, all the heat leaving my body. Knowing I wouldn't get any more sleep anytime soon, I pulled on a pair of loose, hip-hugging jeans and a plain tank top, slipping my light pink jacket to cover my arms. Soon I was out the front door without any kind of notice to my parents. Not that they would believe that I was up this early. I needed to walk around for a bit and get used to living here again.

The sun was just barely over the horizon, the sky as clear as ever, a glow shined from the streets. It spread through the buildings, and soon, the whole area shined with a soft yellow light. Stores were beginning to open up, turning the "closed" signs in the window back to "open" for new loads of customers. Then I thought that maybe the arcade was open. Motoki opened up around six-thirty, for the young business people roaming around that needed an early morning cup of coffee. Besides, I could use a good video game right now. I'll never grow out of playing them.

Speeding up my pace, I arrive there, and sure enough, it was open. The big windows against each booth showed it was empty at the moment, except for Motoki, who was wiping down the booths with an old rag. Smiling, I sped inside the door, hearing the jangle of the bells. He looked up to see who it was, a smile showing on his face as soon as he saw me.

"Usagi-chan! Wait a minute… You're up this early?" he questioned me, throwing the rag onto his shoulder.

I walked up to him, giving him a short hug, and said, "Yeah, shocking, isn't it?"

"Sure is."

"Truth is, I couldn't really sleep. Thinking too much. You know."

"Do I! Sometimes I'd lay in my bed at night, thinking about anything from lima beans to if I'd left money in my pocket from earlier and accidentally washed them."

A laugh escaped me, and I walked past him, taking a seat at the counter. I almost never sat here, but since I was alone, it didn't matter. Booths are more for socializing, anyway.

He followed behind me, standing behind the counter. "Anything I can get you?"

"Coffee would be nice."

He blinked a bit. "Coffee? I didn't know you drank coffee."

"Well, I don't, really. I just figure that's what everyone has in the morning, so why not?"

He strolled over to the coffee maker, saying, "All right, one coffee coming up! I'll put extra sugar and cream in it."

"Thanks! It's really gross without anything in it. I don't know how people can actually swallow it plain."

He chuckled. "I know what you mean… Oh, I didn't even notice! Your hair is shorter!"

"Yeah," I said, fiddling with a lock of my blonde hair, now coming to the middle of my back. "The family I stayed with suggested I get it cut, so I thought, why not? They took me to this salon, and the guy layered it and everything. I think that's what it's called, anyway. All the girls in America seem to have it."

He smiled gently and commented, "It looks really nice on you. I sometimes wish Minako would cut her hair… It gets in the way."

"Of what?"

A light blushed formed along the bridge of his nose, and as he was pouring the coffee into a small mug, he stuttered, "Oh… N… nothing."

For a moment, I couldn't see why he suddenly became so nervous. Then it came to me. "It gets in the way of making out, doesn't it?" He continued to blush, adding all the crème and sugar into my coffee and stirring it.

"I knew it! So… How is she?" I asked, trying my best not to giggle. He nearly dropped the coffee as he set it in front of me.

"Usagi-chan!"

"What, I just want to know!"

He leaned his elbows onto his side of the counter, a dreamy look held in his eyes. "She's… incredible."

"Well, don't tell her that. Her ego doesn't need another boost."

"Tell me about it. She always hits for me to give her some kind of compliment, and when I don't, she'll run off and won't talk to me for a couple days. Then she'll call me and everything will be better."

I blew on top of the coffee, the steam disappearing for a moment, then reappearing over the cup again. "Yeah, well, that's Minako for you. You either love her or you hate her."

He still had a dreamy look in his eyes as he said, "Fortunately I chose to love her."

"And she chose to love you back."

He grinned slightly. "Yep, a poor, old slob like me, working minimum wage at a café slash arcade."

"Come on, Motoki-chan," I told him, continuing to blow across the rim of my cup once and awhile. "You don't give yourself enough credit."

"Yeah, well, I can't help it. I'm a modest kinda guy," he pushed himself up from the counter top and wiped the slick surface with the dirty rag that was sitting across his shoulder.

"So, Usagi-chan… What were you thinking about?"

I took the coffee into my hands, cradling the hot mug in my hands, then repeated, "Thinking about?"

"Yeah, you said earlier that you couldn't sleep because you were thinking too much."

I frowned at the mention of it, hiding it behind my mug. I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing too special. Random things, I guess."

"You sure?"

Blinking, I wondered if he was trying to read my thoughts. Could he tell I was thinking about Mamoru? I hoped not. After all, they were best friends. If he told him, Mamoru would know I was still in love with him, and he couldn't know. I had to make him think I was strong now.

"Sure I'm sure! Now let me drink my coffee in peace, you baka," I said playfully, even throwing out a reassuring smile.

I took a sip of the coffee, biting back the sour taste that the sugar didn't mask, and swallowed it. Another customer walked inside, which was signaled by the upbeat chime from the bell on the door. He busied himself with a short, thirty-something-year-old man, who groggily demanded coffee. Motoki took his order in all his cheerfulness, but the man snapped at him, telling him to get it faster or else he would take his business elsewhere. Geeze, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Another chime sounded as I took a sip of my coffee, staring out blankly into space. I was very good at this after daydreaming so much in school, especially in any boring classes. And to me, all classes in some way or another are boring. Well, except for art. That class was fun since we didn't have to do any actual writing work.

While I was carelessly daydreaming, someone stepped up onto the seat a few stools away from me, a deep voice saying, "Coffee, Motoki."

I nearly choked on the coffee I was about to swallow. Wiping the dribble up from the corner of my mouth, I glanced over at the person. There was Mamoru, his face buried in a large newspaper. I could barely make out his face from the newspaper blocking my view, but I saw enough to make my insides shrivel up. There he was, two seats away from me, reading the newspaper like he would on any normal day of the week. And there I was, staring at him for a long time, my blue eyes wide at the very presence of him. Had he seen me? Was he trying to ignore me?

He might've not noticed me, since all he really saw was probably the back of my head, which had no odangoes like he was used to so long ago. If I had worn those, he would've recognized me in an instant. Desperately, I searched silently for Motoki, but all he could give me was a sympathetic glance as he gave Mamoru his order. Not knowing what to do, I turned my head in the opposite direction, pretending to be very interested in something out the window. Hunching up over my coffee, I swirled my finger along the top of the liquid nervously, not caring about the burning against the tip of my finger.

I froze when I heard his voice directed toward me, saying, "Miss, could you hand me the sugar?"

Inwardly sighing in relief, I glanced up toward the sugar packets lying out of his reach, and extended my hand out, pushing them along the counter toward him without a glance. As soon as they were within reach, he picked the container up, his fingers brushing up against mine. For a split second, I felt a spark of energy rush from my fingers and run through my whole body, making me visibly shiver. What the hell was that? Butterflies?

"Thank you…" he said very slowly, almost accusingly. Had he felt something, too? Keeping my head completely turned away from him, I once again pretended to be engrossed in something happening outside the window. Then the worst happened. Minako walked past the window and entered the arcade, yelling, "Motoki-chan! It's your favorite girlfriend! Oh, hi, Usagi-chan! You're up early."

Shit. She had to say something, didn't she? Didn't she see Mamoru sitting there? I averted my eyes toward her for a second, as I saw her standing near the front door, guilt written all over her face. Oh, _now_ you realize he's here.

"Usa… gi?" I heard Mamoru choke out. I turned my gaze to him, his face completely white, almost as if he'd seen a ghost. Well, to him, I guess I am a ghost. My heart ached at the sight of his eyes looking into mine. He blinked, probably trying to process that I was actually here, sitting next to him. Rubbing the back of my neck with my hand, I turned my eyes away from him. I couldn't bear to stare at him anymore. Every moment I looked at him, I wanted to throw myself into his arms and hug the dear life out of him… But he doesn't feel that way anymore, and he has a girlfriend. I couldn't.

"Hi… Mamoru," I said after a few, long seconds of silence. My gaze was held on the tiling of the floor, anywhere but directly into his eyes.

"I didn't know you were back…" his voice was very soft as he said this.

"Yeah," was my short response.

"So, how are you?" he questioned. Yeah, like you really cared how I was. You couldn't give a crap how I felt right now, how much I wanted to touch you, how much loss I felt just by hearing your voice just knowing I could never have you again.

A lump seeming to be permanently lodged in my throat, I told him, "I'm all right." I took a quick glance at Minako, who bit her lip and took small strides toward me. She then stood next to me, seeing the shock across Mamoru's face, and the despair in mine. The silence between Mamoru and I was beginning to become unbearable.

"Usagi-chan, let's go out for breakfast, my treat," she told me, though I didn't really have a say in the matter since she grabbed onto my arm and practically dragged my out of the arcade. I didn't look back as we exited through the front door. Letting go of my arm after we had been walking for a bit, suddenly we stopped. Wearily, I dropped into her welcoming arms, my frame shaking from the tears draining out of my eyes. She placed her arms comfortingly around my waist, burying her own head into the crook of my neck. I felt like my body could collapse at any moment. Mamoru was there, talking to me… I couldn't believe how awful that made me feel to stare into the same eyes that broke my heart two years ago. I guess it still hasn't mended. Even after all this time…

So there I was, pouring my eyes out to my best friend in the whole world, right in the middle of a busy sidewalk, not caring who saw me.

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	4. Dreaming of You

So I finally got my inspiration back for this story. I'm working on another one that's not nearly as serious or dramatic as this one, but it'll have romance and give you a good laugh.

Anyway, to answer your questions, there are no sailor senshi and none of them have any special powers. Mamoru hasn't had those dreams about Usagi, like in the R season. I'm not going to do this in Mamoru's point of view, since the whole point is to be in the exact same position as Usagi is, where she has no idea how he feels or what's going on. It is in her point of view, mind you. What fun would it be if you knew what everyone was thinking all the time? Sorry, but that's the way I want it.

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I had no idea I'd get so many, considering I haven't put up many chapters yet. Keep reviewing! I love to read them. Oh, yeah, and I remember checking who put me on their author alerts, and I saw Alicia Blade's name there. I got all happy because she's one of my favorite writers and that means she's actually reading my stories.

Okay, enough rambling. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Four— Dreaming of You

Minako set down her plate, only a few small chocolate cake pieces left lying on the dish. I poked at the moist treat, the sight of it usually making me want to dive into its goodness, but instead I shoved my fork in random places on the cake. I dully stared at it, not flinching at how completely delicious it looked, even ignoring the low grumble deep in my stomach.

I couldn't get him out of my mind: the way he'd dangle his arm casually across the back of his stool, one leg extended across to touch the support of the counter, and the other bent to support the rest of his weight. Those steel blue eyes held so much intensity, you might think he practiced that sort of look in front of the mirror. It was so unbelievable. Each part of him fit perfectly, the slender form, the way his black button-up shirt hung carelessly up against the tight muscles of his stomach. The way his jet-black hair fell gently in front of his eyes, nearly making me want to brush the strands away. I knew I couldn't, though. Even when we were together, I didn't do it, no matter how much I wanted to. He didn't really liked being touched. I couldn't ask why since he would brush that subject off quickly. It made me wonder.

"Usagi-chan…" Minako started off after a long period of silence. "I'm so sorry. I didn't see him sitting there. I wouldn't have called your name if I had… I'm sorry."

"I would've seen him eventually. Don't worry about it. I mean, he does go to the arcade all the time. I could've met him in a worse way, like if I ran into him like I used to. Then I'd actually be forced to talk with him without crying."

"I still feel awful…"

"Don't feel like that. Really, I'm all right now. I just was… shocked, I guess. Him being there all of a sudden and not knowing I was there, too. It felt so… weird."

"You weren't the only one who was shocked," Minako stated. I bobbed my head slightly in response, still poking my fork aimlessly into the cake. "The girls and I were hoping to avoid you from seeing him for awhile, at least until you settled in. We all figured your feelings never changed, but there was a chance they did. At least I know now."

"I don't think my feelings for him are ever going to change. I guess it's different for him, huh?"

"What makes you say that?" she asked, way too optimistically for me to believe, making me feel somewhat suspicious.

"You wouldn't have tried to avoid me from seeing Mamoru with a certain person, now would you?"

She blinked in confusion. "You… know about her?"

"Yeah," I said flatly. "They were walking past the arcade the first day I came back. Perfect timing, huh?"

"Oh, Usagi…"

My gaze set onto an unknown place on the faraway wall. "I didn't have one date while I was gone. Not one single date. Sure, I got plenty of offers, and God only knows why, but I still turned them down. You know why? Because I loved him. I knew the dates would be meaningless and I didn't want to drag any boy into something that didn't have any potential. I don't know… I guess one part of me hoped he'd take one look at me, say he had missed me, and bring me up into his arms. Another part told me that we were through, forever. I always listened to the first part. That one string of hope kept me going. I don't know what to do anymore…"

"We'll figure it out, Usagi-chan… But if you ask me, he doesn't deserve you. If he honestly could feel your warmth and love, and break up with you without any good reason, then he really isn't good enough."

"He had a reason," I told her defensively.

"What, by saying you were too young? That's not a great reason. I mean, he knew you were young the moment you two got together. He could've broken up with you a long time ago."

"I guess so…"

"He isn't good enough for you, Usa-chan."

"I think I'm the one that isn't good enough."

She looked surprised at what I said. "What are you saying? Of course you are! You need to gain some of your self-confidence back. That would help you feel a lot better."

"I never really had too much in the first place," I mumbled dejectedly, hugging my legs to my chest, I buried my face into the fabric of my worn out jeans.

"Come on, Usa. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

"… I miss him. I want him, not some other guy."

She let out a sigh, rubbing along my back with the palm of her hand to comfort me. "I know. It's really tough to get over relationships that last that long. You get attached. Believe me, I know. I always got attached to some really hot guy because I thought I really liked him… Could I ask you something personal, though?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled, raising my head up slightly to look up at her face.

"How many times did you guys kiss during your relationship?"

I thought for a short moment, shrugging my shoulders, and wondering what this possibly had to do with anything. "Four or five…"

She looked completely shocked. "Four or five! In two whole years? You've got to be kidding me!"

"Is that… bad?" I asked, confused with her reaction. Sure, it wasn't much, but I figure kissing isn't that big of a deal. Is it?

"Well… I was just wondering. I mean, that's not very much for a two-year relationship. What about hugging?"

"I'd try to hug him a lot, but he usually would push me away and say that he's busy studying. I didn't really mind, I guess. His schoolwork was important. I knew that and he knew that."

"You mean he'd invite you over when doing schoolwork?"

"Yeah…" I said slowly, not really thinking about any of this before. "Almost always. I guess he thought it would motivate me to do my own homework or something. I'd end up watching T.V. in the end, while he kept reading some book."

"Did you mind him ignoring you like that?"

"Well, yeah… But I figured that's how relationships go."

"Oh, Usagi-chan! That's not how you're supposed to be treated! He should've put down his stupid schoolwork and paid attention to you. At least he could've invited you over when he didn't have work to do."

"I guess so…"

"You've seen movies where the guys would hug and kiss their girls a lot, right?"

I nodded my head. I always would watch romantic movies when I left Japan, since I had practically nothing else to do, especially over the summer when we had no school. "Yeah, I have."

"That's how you're supposed to be treated, with love and respect. You didn't deserve him ignoring you, no matter how important his schoolwork was. If he honestly cared at all, he wouldn't have been so selfish."

Lifting my head up more, I shifted my eyes around the room a bit. Was she right? I had no idea. Mamoru was my first and only boyfriend, so I really had no idea how the relationship thing was supposed to go. I thought those stories were ideal and not supposed to be based on real life. God… I was so wrong if that's really true.

"I guess… I never really thought he should do more for me. I wish he would have. I always wished he'd hug me or kiss my cheek or something. Maybe… you're right about that."

"There you go!" she exclaimed. "You deserved better! And I think you should start exploring other guys, see how different it is. Believe me, you'll love it."

"That's what my mom said."

"See!"

Biting my lower lip, I loosened the grip on my legs and let them fall away from my chest, letting my fingers travel over to my cheeks. They were now completely dry instead of moist with tears, giving them a chalky kind of feel to them. I looked like a ghost. "Who would possibly want me now? I mean… I'm a wreck. Just look at me."

"What are you talking about? You're so pretty and don't even realize it! All you need is some… freshening up."

"What kind of 'freshening up'?" I began to wonder what little scheme she had mulling around in that colorful little head of hers.

There was a wide grin held on her face now, one I feared. That always meant she was going to do something dramatic to me or someone else. Last time I saw that look, I had cake mix all over my body from her little 'idea' to put oil and water in a pan full of cake mix. She comes up with the weirdest things…

"Come on, we have a lot of work to do," she said, grabbing my hand, she dragged me out of the apartment quick as lightning.

"Are you sure about this, Minako-chan?" I questioned my best friend for the millionth time. She rolled her eyes a bit at my overly used question.

"Of course I'm sure? When have I ever failed you?" she asked me with a grin. "Oh, wait… Don't answer that."

I giggled slightly. A woman with long black hair and bright green eyes started to apply some kind of eye shadow. I wasn't able to see it, since Minako told me to keep my eyes closed throughout this whole process. She talked me into going to her modeling agency to get a head-to-toe makeover. At first I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but by the time we got here and settled down, I became happier and happier. She was right; this was a good idea, for once. The idea of putting on so much make-up, which I normally didn't do, sounded really… well, nice.

The building itself made my jaw drop. The top seemed to reach past the clouds, very large, clear windows spread out randomly across the outside, so you could easily look in. The inside was even better. Marble floors met us as we walked inside, with white and gold spread across the walls. Pieces of colorful art popped up here and there along the walls, adding an extra elegance to the room. Her studio (yes, she has her own studio), was a remake of the lobby, only with orange-colored things added within the white and gold. There was a huge vanity table that looked as if it fit against the whole wall, bright lights reflecting against it and a gigantic walk-in closet sat across from it, completely filled with racks of designer clothes that I could never dream of wearing. First, she suggested we get some make-up on my face.

"Okay, now relax… I can't put eye shadow on if you don't stop twitching," the make-up artist told me, not commandingly, but in a soft voice, sounding half-serious.

"Thanks again for coming in today, Miko. I never could've done her make-up all by myself. Remember when I was stupid enough to try that on my first photo shoot, and the photographer threw me out for looking like a 'crying zebra'?" Minako questioned the woman, laughter held in her voice.

"Yes…" Miko said, pausing for a moment, then begun brushing on the eye shadow gently again. "Yes, I remember that day well. You wanted so badly to do your own make-up, so I let you. I suppose that's how you learn, ne?"

"I learned the hard way. He nearly threw his camera at me. I was so embarrassed!"

Miko laughed gently, stopping once again. A moment later, she ran a brush along the apples of my cheeks. I still kept my eyes closed, listening closely. "What did you expect? You told me you were being 'creative' when you used black eyeliner to make thick stripes along your face. It was hard not to laugh."

"Even you were against me! What has the world come to when they would go against a wonderful model such as myself?"

"Well, you weren't a famous model then, remember? You were just a poor newbie."

"Everyone knows she's a model now," I commented. "When we were walking down the street, at least ten guys came up to her and asked her out."

"Yeah, well…" Minako began in her not-so-modest voice. "I can't help it if men naturally find me attractive."

"I couldn't believe you actually flirted with them. Some of them were at least ten years older than you," I told her with a sigh.

"So? I can look, I just can't touch."

"That should be your motto," Miko said as she ran a brush along here and there, making me think she was doing her final touches. God… Keeping your eyes closed for a long time makes you sleepy. I guess that's why people close their eyes when they go to sleep. Never thought of it that way. "With all the male models and men in general you happen to flirt with, it definitely suits you."

"Motoki would kill me if he knew that!"

"Exactly," Miko stated with a small giggle.

Before Minako could answer, Miko exclaimed happily, "Finished! Take a look, Tsukino-san."

Opening my eyes slowly, I let them adjust to the bright light suddenly in my view. My blurry vision soon faded and became clear. Then I was staring straight at a reflection of a stranger. I blinked a couple times, not believing what I was seeing. There I was, dark eyeliner surrounding my eyes, silver eye shadow spreading all the way to my eyebrows, and a thick stream of the eye shadow brushed along the beneath my eyes, a hint of purple within it, complimenting the blue color of my eyes. A light shade of pink was added to my cheeks, giving it a natural look. A layer of clear gloss covered my lips, silver sparkles spread along them, flashing at the change of the light. The outside of my hair was ironed, curling inward slightly and showing off every last layer in it, looking softer than ever.

"Wow…" was all I could manage to say, still gaping at my reflection. I mean, how could this possibly be me? I looked so… different. But that was the idea, to make me feel like a brand new person. It worked.

"She looks beautiful, Miko! Wonderful job, as usual," Minako commented brightly.

"Yes, beautiful," she repeated in a satisfied tone.

Gently, I reached out and ran my fingers along the side of my face. "I can't believe it."

"We're not quite done yet, my dear Usagi-chan. You've got the face, now you need the clothes. Now get your ass in that closet before I have to drag you inside there myself!"

Minako picked out a pretty pink dress for me to wear. It wasn't too revealing, thankfully. The skirt part came slightly above my knees and had a halter-type top, which made my chest looked a little bigger. That's just what I need, my already-grown chest to look even bigger. My dad would hate the dress. Well, he'd hate anything I'd wear besides my school uniform.

I can't believe Minako are actually the same size. Maybe we really are twins.

She said that she wanted to show my new look to Motoki, I'm guessing to show off her dress. I didn't really feel like going back to the arcade again, but she insisted, so I agreed to go. Why not? Motoki would at least have some kind words for me. He always does.

It was already nighttime as we drove up to the arcade in Minako's car, which, like her personality, was a cherry red sport-type one. Note that I know nothing about cars. Obviously. It looked kind of like a racecar. And with the way she drove, I wasn't too sure about my safety. 'Red light?' she'd say. 'What's that?'

As soon as we walked inside the arcade, I noticed that it was completely empty. That's weird, usually people come here all the time at night to have dinner or something. Out of nowhere, I heard a loud "SURPRISE!" and there all my friends and family were, jumping from behind the counter. Motoki held a huge cake that said, "Welcome back, Usagi". I looked at all of them in shock, and happiness.

"A surprise party?" I asked Minako, blinking. She just grinned at me secretively as all my friends ran over to me, giving me huge hugs that nearly made me go blue.

"Usagi, you look so beautiful!" my mom exclaimed as she, too, joined in the hugging. "Minako said she was going to make you over, but I never realized she would make you this wonderful!"

"Yeah, not too shabby, Odango," Rei said, smiling in spite of the usual abuse of my nickname.

"It's too short," my dad said out of nowhere, which I guess was talking about my dress. My mom slapped him upside his head and he became quiet, rubbing the sore spot she made.

"This is… so great! Thanks, everyone!" I nearly shouted. For once in a couple days, I felt really happy that I had so many people that cared about me.

"Enough chit-chat," Rei told us. "Time for some cake!"

Three pieces of cake later, Minako pushed me to sit down at the counter, everyone else crowding around me, making me feel like a packed sardine.

"On this special occasion," Minako announced to everyone. "We have decided to pitch in and get you a present. One we all knew you'd love."

Motoki brought out a medium-sized wrapped box and set it in front of me on the counter. I smiled brightly and tore the wrapping off quickly. I opened the white box and there sat a single paper. Blinking, I took the light paper out of the box and glanced over it. It looked like some sort of… contract or something.

"What's this?" I asked blankly as I still ran my eyes over it.

"A lease," my mom said. "For an apartment. Your father and I wanted you to experience life as a young woman, and this is a way to start. Now, we will give you any money you need until you get settled in and have a job."

"I got my manager to donate flowers to brighten up the rooms," Makoto added in, smiling gently.

"And my sister has some old household equipment that she wants to give you, to start you out," Motoki said.

"The apartment's real nice," Minako was saying. "A friend of mine owns it, and he gave us a good deal."

Tears begin running down my cheeks. I felt so… happy right now. I couldn't believe they'd do all this stuff, just for me. Out of instinct, I jumped out of my seat and hugged every single one of them.

"Thank you, thank you!" I was saying over and over, feeling so overwhelmed that I wanted to burst.

"Geeze, calm down, Odango. It's not like you won a million dollars, or something," Rei told me jokingly as I hugged her, but I could even see a couple tears in her eyes, whether she wanted to admit they were there or not.

"My little baby's all grown up," my mother said happily as she gripped her arms around me tightly.

When I hugged dad, he just went, "If you bring any boys there, I'll kill them."

We all laughed at that. It's good to finally be home.

After we had all talked for a long time and ate even more cake, which was nearly gone by now, I told them I wanted to go outside for some fresh air. My dad was about to protest, probably because it was dark out, but my mom hit him again and assured me it was all right to go.

I walked outside, and without thinking about it for a second, let my feet do the walking and arrived at the Ichi-No-Hashi Park. There were so many memories held here, I could barely stand it. All the days the girls and I would go here to play happily on the swing sets like a group of little toddlers, or when my family and I would sit on the grass on a nice day, just to have a quiet picnic. Then there was the few dates Mamoru and I had here. One of the few times we weren't cooped up in his apartment, doing homework or watching television. One of the few times he actually kissed me. It was an odd kiss, too. All he told me was that I had caramel gum in my mouth. He didn't put any feeling into it. I wasn't surprised or anything, I was used to him doing stuff like that, but still…

I froze when I noticed a shadowy figure hunched over, sitting on one of the benches near the lake. A crazed rapist? I couldn't tell. The moonlight was the only brightness, and it didn't show any of the person's features.

I approached slowly, feeling my breath catch in my throat. Mamoru. Sitting in the park, at night. He never did things like that. I suddenly felt my instincts kick in and became worried. Maybe something was wrong.

Soundlessly, I sat on the bench, making his attention suddenly turn to me. Finally I could see his whole face, bathed in the light of the moon, his normally deep blue eyes looking dull. It reminded me of my own that looked that way for a long time. Slowly, though, they were gaining back their shine as he took a long, intense look at me.

We didn't say anything for a long time, simply staring into each other's eyes, me trying to read him, and him trying to read me. I knew I never could, even if I tried. He masked his feelings so well.

"You look… amazing," he breathed, his voice rising over the silence of the night, making it feel like we were the only two people in the world, sitting here. I could feel a blush rise to my cheeks. He almost never complimented me. Why now, of all times?

"Thank you," I managed to say, finally tearing my eyes away from him to stare out at the lake. The water sparkled under the soft white light shining from the stars, making it seem like there were stars buried under the water, waiting to rise out and go back up into the sky, where they belonged.

"Special occasion?"

"The girls and my parents threw me a party, you know, for me coming back," I said, trying to sound as casual as possible. "What are you doing out here this late?"

He leaned back slightly, I could see in the corner of my eye. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"Not sure."

"You came out here in the middle of the night to think about something, but you don't know what?" I asked curiously. Even to me, it sounded weird for someone to do.

"Pretty much."

After a moment of silence, I asked something else that would hurt me, but I said it anyway, "How is your girlfriend?"

I side-glanced him, seeing a surprised look written all over his face. "Who?"

"I saw a brunette girl with you. She's pretty," I told him, trying my best not to sound bitter. It was true, though.

"You mean Senki? I… well, I've been out with her a few times, but she's not really my girlfriend."

My gaze traveled to the ground. Girlfriend or not, he's moving on, like I should be doing. I guess I should be happy for him, and I am. I mean… Maybe this Senki has things that I don't have. Things that he wants.

I smiled, forcing it to be happy, but I knew it looked completely fake. "Oh, that's nice."

"What about you?" he asked quietly.

"Me?" I repeated, a sad laugh escaping me. "Who would want me?"

He almost looked angry now as he said, "What are you talking about?"

"You want me to explain? Okay, well, I trip all the time, I eat too fast, I'm selfish, I'm not too bright, not attractive—"

"You're perfect," he cut in suddenly. I stared at him. He really sounded… sincere. I don't get it. One minute he's being completely cold, then the next he goes and says something like that.

"I am?" I choked out, tears straining in my throat.

He nodded his head slightly, looking straight into my eyes, and said in such a light whisper that I could barely hear his words, "You are."

Turning away from his gaze, I wiped my eyes dry of tears, the eyeliner mixing into the salty water and making it run down my cheeks. Here I was again, being the huge baby that I always was, for absolutely no reason at all.

In my surprise, he reached over and wiped away a stray tear off my cheek with his thumb softly. I closed my eyes softly from the touch of his hand, feeling it lay onto my cheek, his hand warming up the cold feeling on my skin. I could feel the warmth of his body moving closer to me, making my heart speed up at the closeness. He's never touched me like this before.

His lips brushed up very gently against my own, so I could barely feel it, but at the same time, feeling it so much that it hurt. Soon I could feel his warm breath on my ear, and he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Before I knew what was happening, his warmth was completely gone. I opened my eyes to find an empty spot in front of me. I stared at that spot for what seemed like forever. I had no idea what happened. My head was so cloudy that I could barely even think.

Wiping the nearly black stray tears away from my cheek, I breathed in deeply and pushed myself up from the bench, my legs feeling like two pools of Jell-O. Very slowly, almost painfully, I trudged my way back home.


	5. I Hope You'll Be Happy Too

-----

Chapter Five— I Hope You'll Be Happy Too 

"So this is it," I said as I walked into the bare living room area. It was pretty big, hardwood floor as far as the eye could see. Windows sat on each wall, it seemed, making the room bright with the morning sun. The living room drifted right into the kitchen, and the bedroom was only a short hallway walk away. Minako and a couple of her friends, who happened to be male models she worked with, helped her carry in the furniture that we had picked out earlier, along with other trinkets Motoki's sister had given me.

I never thought me, irresponsible little Usagi, would actually be living on my own in an apartment. It all seemed almost unreal. I had barely just applied to a local college, and I was applying to jobs left and right. It's amazing how you go from a child to an adult in such a short time. Two weeks ago, I was living at home, no job, and practically nothing of my own. And now? Now I owned my own apartment, which I was just now filling up with things I wanted. Not what my parents wanted, but what _I_ wanted.

These weeks went by so fast, with all the buying of furniture and applying to colleges and jobs. I hadn't even seen the place until today, and I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. Each room seemed to be so… happy. Like they could actually speak and feel. My mom called it their 'Personality'.

"Okay, move it a liiiitle to the left… No, the right… Up a bit… There, perfect!" Minako was saying to her friends. They finally set the bulky couch onto the ground, with it making a loud thud as it hit the floor. Already they had set down two chairs, a small television that my brother gave me, and then this couch that was facing the television. Of course, nearly everything I bought was pink.

"Phew," Makoto was saying as she plopped onto the couch, her hands behind her head. "This moving stuff is hard work."

"You're telling me," Rei agreed as she sat on the chair adjacent to the couch, with Ami in the other chair. "I thought my back was gonna give out after carrying that damn microwave!"

"It wasn't even that heavy," Minako told her. "Try carrying around a couch and _then_ see how you feel."

"I think I'll pass on that."

"Thought so."

Rei looked toward the empty doorway to make sure the "movers" weren't walking in and said, "Hey, Minako-chan, those guys are really hot. How is it that _you_ can have friends like _that_?"

"That's the beauty of being a supermodel. You get to have friends that are extremely attractive. Among many other things, anyway."

"Yeah, yeah, enough bragging," Rei told Minako, waving her off with her hand as if she was too exausted to say anymore. Yeah, right.

I heard a tiny knocking noise coming from somewhere, and we turned our attention over to the corner of the room, where my dad was standing with one hand pressed against the wall and the other tapping lightly on it. My mother was standing next to him, her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised.

"Kenji, what on Earth are you doing?" she questioned him, but he only shushed her in response.

"Shhhh… Honey, I need to hear if these walls are sturdy enough. I don't want them cracking on the first contact of a nail through them," he said as he continued his knocking on the wall, moving along it on different spots.

"Honestly, Kenji," my mother sighed. "The walls are perfectly stable."

"I don't trust these so-called contractors these days."

"You don't trust the man who makes bread at our bakery."

He finally stopped 'testing' the walls and explained, "Well, he could've put it in at the wrong temperature! It's never a bad thing to at least check."

"You didn't have to hit him."

"I swear, Ikuko, he was going to attack with that pastry!" my dad exclaimed.

My mother rolled her eyes a bit and walked away from him, giving me one of her 'He's hopeless' kind of looks, making me giggle. No matter how completely paranoid, my mom always did and always will love him. I'm glad that they're so happy together.

"So tell me, Usagi," Minako said, walking up to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "What's it feel like to be on your own? Scary, ne?"

"Actually, I kinda like it. It's different, that's for sure."

"Wait until you get all the bills. Then you won't like it," Rei countered, still sprawled across the chair like she was dying from a heat stroke.

"Oh, shut up, you grouch."

"Just realistic," she said, shrugging.

"I still say you're a grouch."

"She's right," Minako defended me. "She might as well enjoy it while everything is fresh and new. Don't worry, though, nothing will ever be dull as long as your dear ol' Minako is here."

"I can believe that," I said with a laugh.

Rei added, "Only because she'll never shut up and there won't ever be a moment of silence."

"I resent that! I don't talk _that_ much."

"Enough to wake the dead."

"You're just jealous," Minako said airily.

"Of…?" Rei asked her curiously.

"Come on, just look at me. I speak for myself."

We all let out a sigh at her comment.

"I'm not _even_ gonna say anything," Makoto injected, trying her best not to laugh.

Soon a delicious smell was flowing from the kitchen, one that I took in deeply. It was like… a light scent of baked dough, only with some cinnamon mixed somewhere in there. Man, now I was getting really hungry…

"Mmmm, what's that smell?" I asked dreamily. Food sounded really good to me right now. Actually, food sounded good to me all the time.

"Oh, those are my apple cinnamon tarts. Decided to test out your oven. You'll have to wait awhile, though," Makoto told me as she sat up on the couch, stretching herself out.

"But I want one noooow…" I whined, pouting a bit.

"Just wait until lunch, then I promise you'll get one."

I sighed in defeat. "Okay, okay, but I have dibs on at _least_ four of them."

"_Four_? Planning on turning into a blimp sometime soon?" Rei asked me.

"You're one to talk! Last time I made peanut butter cookies, you must've ate ten of them!" Makoto exclaimed.

I could see a blush form on Rei's face as she grumbled, "Oh, shut up."

"Say, Usagi-chan, what do you say we go put all this stuff in your bedroom since these three lazy-asses won't do any work?" Minako asked me, glaring at them.

"Hey, I have a bad back!" Rei exclaimed in her own defense.

"Riiiight, of course you do," Minako said sarcastically as she grabbed a couple of my storage boxes labeled 'Bedroom' across the side, while I grabbed one, as well, following her into the bedroom. We set them down on the floor. My bed had already been moved in by Minako's model friends and fit well in the room. It was pretty big, bigger than my old room, at least, with a huge window falling across the side of the room to let in sunlight and a balcony resting just beyond that. My dresser and other things were already set, too, making it feel more and more like home.

Minako squatted down on the ground, opening one of the boxes swiftly with her sharp fingernail. "So… How's the whole Mamoru situation been going? Have you seen him lately?"

"Well… I haven't told any of the girls yet, but… You know the night when we had that party at the arcade?" I asked her as I opened another box.

"Yeah…?"

"I saw him when I took that walk."

"Oh my God, Usagi, why didn't you tell me? What happened?" she questioned, suddenly not interesting in opening the box the rest of the way.

"He… err… Kinda, well, kissed me…"

"HE KISSED YOU?" she shouted.

"Minako-chan, be quiet! Do you want all of Tokyo to hear or something?"

She rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers, saying, "Sorry, sorry, it's just a shock. What happened after that."

"He said he was sorry, and left."

"Sorry? For what?"

I shrugged slightly, sitting on the floor cross-legged, I started to pull a couple of things out of the box: My pink lamp, a bunny alarm clock, a couple figurines, and I set them all on the floor, one by one.

"I dunno. For kissing me, I guess."

"The guy's got issues, Usa. It sounds to me like he's just playing around with your feelings because he can't decide what his own feelings are. If he's that unsure about everything, then it's best to not get involved with him, or else you'll just end up getting hurt again, and I can't stand seeing you getting hurt."

I stood up slowly with the lamp in my hand, placing it on the vanity table next to my bed. I glanced over at the blonde girl sitting on my bedroom floor, smiling. "When did you get so smart?"

She grinned at me and said, "Reading all those self-help books seems to help other people, too."

"You and your self-help books. You still read those things?"

"Of course! My absolute favorite has to be 'My Secret Garden'. I'm telling you, it's supposed to be some kind of help for sex, but I think it's more like a comedy. The woman describes everything she does, _really_ badly, might I add," she told me. "She said that women are the 'Fruits of the basket of life' and 'Need to be taken care as a flower would be in a field'. Corny-ass shit, my friend."

I laughed at her. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Usagi…" she trailed off, walking over to where I was standing. "Are you… okay? I mean, really okay?"

"Actually, I am. I never thought I would be, but after that time I saw Mamoru, I decided it was time to stop thinking about him. It didn't work then, it won't work now. In fact, I haven't even thought about him once until today, when you brought him up."

"Really? That's great! I'm so proud of you!" she exclaimed as she brought me into a tight hug.

"How's your love life, by the way?" I asked after she released me from the hug.

"Wonderful, as usual," she breathed happily. "Last night Motoki took me to this beautiful restaurant just at the edge of town, so it was really quiet. Really fancy place, too. When I was about to pay for it, he insisted he would instead. It was so romantic."

"It was romantic that he paid for it?"

She slapped me playfully on my arm and said, "You know what I meant."

"Hey, Minako-chan…" I started off. "Do you think I'll find someone?"

"Of course you will! Just give it some time, and believe me, the right guy will come strolling through your front door. Trust me. I have an instinct about these things... Now hurry up, woman! We're gonna try and get all this done by tonight and you walking like a slug doesn't help."

-----

I became happier and happier as the days flew by. My apartment became completely filled up with everything it could possibly need. Two letters came in the mail, saying I had gotten accepted to their college, and I had already chosen one. It was a couple blocks from my apartment and not too far from my parent's house, the arcade, and where all my friends lived. The best part was that I had gotten a job. It was a surprise.

Minako had called me one day, telling me that her boss' secretary had been fired, so the job was up for grabs. Minako put a good word in, I went for an interview, and soon the job was mine. I was so happy. Not only did I have my very own job, but it was in the same building where Minako would do a lot of her photo sessions, so I'd be able to visit her whenever I wanted. It paid pretty well, too. Things were really turning out good, for once in what seemed like a long, long time.

That is, until I got a phone call about a week after moving in my apartment.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone.

"Usagi," came a deep voice from the other end. I knew who it was, but for some reason, my heart didn't speed up faster. I wasn't short of breath. My cheeks didn't turn pink. I… didn't feel anything. That surprised me a lot.

"Oh, hi, Mamoru," I said calmly. Why wasn't I becoming nervous? I always did whenever I even spoke to him.

"Motoki gave me your new number. Told me all about you moving."

"Yeah, the apartment's nice," I carried on, jumping onto the coffee table, I swung my legs back and fourth under the table. "So… What's new?"

He paused for a moment. He was probably just as surprised as I am at the fact that I wasn't even crying at the sound of his voice. "Well… I just thought I'd call to see how you were doing."

"Oh, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm," I said, sounding bored.

"Do you think… Maybe we could have lunch together and talk?"

I glanced at the clock that read 2:34 and shrugged slightly, though I knew he couldn't see me do it. "Sure, guess I am kinda hungry."

"Great. Meet you at the Moonlight Café in half an hour?" he asked me. I remember that place. That was another time we went out on a date, and we decided to go there. Why would he want to go there again? How weird.

"Uh, sure… Bye," I said and hung up the phone. This might be a bad idea, but maybe not. When I heard his voice, I didn't feel anything. Not nearly like I used to.

Maybe… I'm finally over him.

-----

"So they tell me to put on this Speedo, right? I guess the guy got the wrong size, and halfway through the photo shoot, it split right open. I was so embarrassed!" he exclaimed as he told a modeling story that happened to him. I burst out laughing at the idea of him naked in front of so many people.

"God, that must've been horrible," I said through giggles.

"Well, most of them just laughed, and some stared. It was really… different."

"I'll say."

I dipped my metal spoon into the glass filled with water, swirling the ice around a bit as it hit the glass edges.

"What about you? Going to college soon?"

"Yeah, I got accepted to two, but I've already chosen the one I want to go to."

"Which one?"

"Meiei."

He nodded his head. "That's a good college. Highly ranked, actually. You need good grades to get in."

"Well, when I left, I really had nothing else to do but study and dance. So basically I got in shape and better grades."

He smiled gently, almost sadly, and said, "I'm glad you're doing so well."

"Me too," I replied, staring at the ice cubes that were floating around in the water. "So how's your love life? Anything new with that girl?"

I glanced at him. I could barely see a flash of hopelessness in his eyes, but they faded away. Once again, his composure kept any feelings hidden. Big surprise.

"Well…" he started off. "Not really. My love life's pretty nonexistent."

"Why? You're good-looking and all, so it shouldn't be too hard to get a date."

I could see him shrug as he said, "They're all the same. I guess you could say I'm waiting."

"For…?" I pressed.

"I'm not sure. Someone special, I guess."

"You don't have anyone in mind?"

He eyed me for a second and said, "Well, maybe someone."

Our food came before we could say anymore. For awhile, we were silent as we both ate. So I listened around me, hearing the clatter of dishes in the kitchen not too far away, the sound of people laughing, talking, and the playing of some classical music in the background of it all. Come to think of it, this is actually a pretty nice place. Not too loud, the food's good, and it was just… nice.

"How about you?" he asked me about halfway through eating my sandwich.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, swallowing the lump of food that was in my mouth.

"Your love life."

"Same as you. Besides, I really don't have time for anyone, with school and my job and all."

His eyes grew a bit wide and he asked, "You have a job?"

"Yeah, I didn't tell you? It's at Minako's modeling company. I'm a secretary there, for Minako's boss."

"You mean Eden's Modeling Agency?" he asked me, still sounding surprised. Is it that hard to believe that I actually have a job or something?

"Yeah, you've heard of it?"

"Well, I go there to shoot layouts sometimes. My main photographer works at two places, that being one of them."

"Really?" I asked in curiosity. "I haven't seen you there."

"My photographer works wherever he wants, when he wants, so I never really know when I go there. Maybe I'll see you there sometime this week."

I smiled a bit. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

We ate the rest of our lunch in peace.

-----

After lunch, we decided to take a walk. We ended up at one place I knew well: his apartment.

"You wanna come in for a bit? I can scoop up some ice cream, if you'd like," he offered as we stopped walking in front of the complex. It was a lot bigger than I remember it being.

"Um… I don't know if that's such a good idea."

He blinked. "Why not?"

"Mamoru," I sighed, glancing down at the sidewalk. "We were a couple for a long time. You know that, and I know that. Nothing's going to change the past. And no matter how much we ignore it, our past is always gonna be there. Today was nice. Really, it was, but… I just don't want to complicate anything."

He stared at me with those intense blue eyes of his that always made me melt. Now I simply stared back with the same kind of look.

"It's not complicated, Usagi. What's wrong with us being friends?"

"It's not going to happen."

"Why?"

"Feelings will always get in the way. I think it's better… If we don't see each other again," I said finally. I looked in his eyes, seeing the hurt he was trying to mask.

"What?" he asked, sounding shocked.

"It'd be best, for both of us."

He continued to stare at me. "How did this happen, Usagi? One minute, you're practically jumping all over me, then the next… You're saying we should never see each other again?"

To move away from his gaze, I stared out into the blueness of the sky, smiling. "When you broke up with me, I was depressed. Past the point of depressed, even. I felt like I could never do anything with my life after that. And now…? Now, I feel like I'm on my own. I'm happy, Mamoru, happier than I've ever been. I don't need you to be happy anymore."

"Usagi… It doesn't have to be this way."

"I know it doesn't, but it's the way it's going to be."

"I—"

"I hope you'll be happy, too…" I interrupted him before he made it too hard for me to say anymore. "I really did love you, you know. With all my heart."

That's when I walked away without another word, and didn't look back.

------

Don't worry, this isn't the end, I promise! There's much more to come. Sorry if this chapter was boring, but hey, I tried. Keep reviewing, everyone!


	6. Denying

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Chapter Six—Denying 

Dipping half of my finger into my soda, I pulled it out and stuck it in my mouth, savoring the sugary taste. Good stuff. Hm, come to think of it, I haven't actually had anything too sweet in awhile, save for some of Makoto's SUPER delicious cookies. That's pretty unusual not to have much, for me, anyway. I remember always stuffing my face with cookies, cake, anything that had sugar in it. Sure, I still love sweets as much as the next girl, but it's not an obsession or anything.

The girls decided we should "live the night life" and go to an eighteen-and-over club near the Tokyo Shopping Strip. Pretty nice place. They didn't serve alcohol, but had a huge dance floor with tiles that lighted up as you stepped on them. A huge DJ booth made the whole room boom with the music, the base turned up high so it felt like the music was pulsing against your skin. Normally I'd love to get out on the floor. Everyone else was dancing, couples and groups of people moving to the beat, most grinding up against each other. We had just gotten there, though, so I wasn't in the 'mood' yet, I guess.

"Oi, snap out of it, Odango," Rei said suddenly as she flicked my temple with her finger.

"Geeze, you don't have to hit me," I told her, rubbing the sore spot.

"I didn't hit you. I flicked you."

"Same, difference."

"It still hurt…" I trailed off with a pout forming on my lower lip.

She stuck her pink tongue out at me. "Stop being such a baby, Odango-baka."

"You started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did toooo!"

"Prove it!"

By then we both had the sides of our faces pressed up against each other. She was NOT going to win this one.

"God, those guys are cute…" Makoto trailed off with glittering stars forming in her eyes. Her gaze was held on a group of guys slightly older than us, showing off charming smiles to any girl that looked their way. Some things never change.

Minako had the same kind of gaze as she added, "Mm, you're telling me."

Rei rolled her eyes. "You'd think that graduating from high school would make them mature a bit, but no, lets just gawk at guys all night."

"Aww, come on, lighten up a bit," Minako said, prodding Rei with her elbow. "Besides, Mako-chan and Usa need to find a guy. How else are we supposed to find them a boyfriend, hmm?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe letting them find one _on their own_?"

Minako grinned. "But that'd be no fun."

"No fun for who?"

"Me, of course."

"Of course," Rei sighed in defeat.

"At least you have Motoki," Makoto cut in with a slightly sad tone.

"Yeah, true, he is pretty wonderful," Minako agreed, doing her famous peace sign with a sly wink. "Not as wonderful as moi, though. Now, if you'll excuse me, that hot guy over there has my name written _all_ over him." She quickly hopped up out of her seat and scurried away.

We let out a unanimous sigh.

"Think if we pop her head, it'll inflate?" I questioned to no one in particular.

"That'd take a pretty big needle," Makoto injected. We watched as Minako approached a fairly well built guy as if she'd known him for years and eventually conned him into dancing with her. I swear, that girl never gives up, even if she does have a boyfriend. Oh well, its not like she'd do anything with him. Cheating is definitely not an issue, but flirting is. Motoki thankfully isn't a jealous person, so even that isn't a huge deal to him. She made a good choice. I would know, he's practically my best friend.

"Speaking of guys, how's your love life going, Ami?" Makoto asked after she took a sip of her drink.

A blush creeped over Ami's cheeks. "Um, it's fine."

"Only fine?" Rei asked with a raised brow. "I heard _someone_ is shacking it up with one of the doctors at the hospital your mom works at."

"Ooh, I thought you weren't like that, Ami-chan," I said teasingly, making her shrink down in her seat.

"I'm not… You guys have it all wrong. I'm simply friends with Dr. Yumi," she said in her defense.

"Oooo, Dr. _Yumi_, huh?" Rei continued the teasing. "Have you kissed yet?"

"N-No, of course not."

"Then why are you blushing?" I prodded, grinning.

"I'm not," she said calmly.

"Uh huh."

"Hey, guys, have you heard of that river? Oh, what's it called? DE-Nile?" Makoto continued.

"You guys, stop it. He and I are only friends, honestly," Ami tried to defend herself with the telltale blush still painted on her cheeks.

"Uh huh," I repeated in the same tone.

Makoto added, "Sure you are."

Rei squinted her eyes a bit, telling us, "Hey, wait a second, guys… Isn't that Mamoru?"

The light mood was cut short in an instant. I really didn't want to deal with him right now, especially after I said all that stuff to him. I hoped I'd never see him again, but I guess I was bound to run into him. I took a long sip of my drink, not even bothering to look at him. Rei blinked, probably wondering why I hadn't burst into tears and ran out of the club at the mention of his name.

I could feel his presence near us. I know it sounds weird, but we've always had some sort of weird bond. I knew when he was around, he'd know when I was around. I knew it was him by the tingle that ran up the back of my neck and creeped it way down my spine. Like some sort of inner physical connection. I hoped by now it would fade, but it hadn't.

"Usagi," was the next word said. Deep, curious, and unwavering.

"Mamoru," I breathed out, still not mustering enough gut to actually look at him. There was an obvious tension held between us, a thin layer that threatened to suffocate the whole table. Rei looked at Ami, who looked at me, their eyes questioning, even nervous. So far I hadn't told them much about what had happened between him and me. There wasn't much to tell, anyway.

"What brings you here?" he asked suddenly. Finally, my gaze managed to wander over to him. Dressed in my favorite, or at least my ex-favorite, silk black shirt that clung to his body just right, loose at the arms and tightening around his torso. His soulful blue eyes were gazing at me, almost hopeful. He had this look a lot lately.

"Just hanging out with the girls, you know. What about you?"

"Oh, Motoki dragged me here. He said something about me needing to loosen up."

"Can't say I blame him," I muttered to myself as I took a long swig of the sweetened soda. His brows furrowed at my words

"Excuse me?" he questioned accusingly, his voice tight.

"You aren't exactly loose. You're about as wound up as a ball of twine."

All I could see was pure shock running across his features. What, so I can't insult him a little? It's not like I meant to… Well, maybe I did. Kind of. I wouldn't admit it, though.

"Since when do you point out my faults?"

"Since now."

By now the rest of my friends were watching us, their eyes darting back and fourth between us as the fight continued, watching as if it was a heated tennis match.

"Well, in that case, I'd like to tell you something that's always bugged me. The way you wail and are so damn immature it makes my head spin," he shot back haughtily.

"At least it's better than being a boring know-it-all," I spat, glaring into his eyes, as he did the same. The tension between us grew steadily.

"At least I have a head on my shoulders and not in the clouds. I'll actually get somewhere in life."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked suddenly, my cheeks pink.

"It means you're a ditzy crybaby that'll never get a steady job, while I'm studying to be a doctor. What are YOU striving to be? A dancer? Come on, everyone knows that's a dead-end career."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Sorry, but that doesn't mean much."

I could see that got to him. His head lowered a bit. Finally, he noticed the little audience that was quietly watching us. "Usagi… We need to talk. _Alone_."

"Fine," the word came out in a mutter as I grabbed my coat angrily, strolling back to the entrance of the club. Somehow I managed to push my way through the tide of sweaty, dancing crowds and exited through the front door. As soon as the chilly night air hit my hot cheeks, I felt much better. Wrapping my bare arms around my chest, I glanced down, seeing the white satin tube top that cascaded down past my hips, ending in wavy ruffles. One of my favorite shirts, but not one of my favorites on a cold night. So I slipped my jacked over my shoulders, seeing Mamoru come through the same door I just exited. Suddenly my gaze swept to the ground. I could feel him brush up against my arm lightly, now standing in front of me.

"Let's walk for a bit, okay?" he said softly, in a much different tone than he just had. I only nodded. Without even thinking about it, my mind almost numb, we began walking down the long pathway. The hundreds of chattering voices began to fade away, along with the fast-paced music, and soon it disappeared completely. Neither of us said anything for awhile, even after it became silent. I didn't really know what to say. Should I apologize? Or wait until he says something first?

"I'm sorry," I murmured without giving the words any more thought. I needed to say it. "I mean… What I said was pretty harsh. I guess I was angry. I didn't mean it."

"Don't worry about it," he told me suddenly, my eyes traveling over to him. He had his hands shoved deep in his jean pockets, gaze held on the pavement, looking as if he was thinking about something. "I probably deserved it."

"No, you didn't. I just… I dunno."

"Go ahead," he urged me gently, now looking in my direction.

"I honestly didn't think I'd see you again for a long time."

"Really?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah… Guess I figured I could avoid you or something, but that's pretty impossible. We do go to a lot of the same places."

"Why do you want to avoid me?"

I let out a light sigh, one that I only I could hear. "I thought it'd be the best thing to do, you know, after all that happened."

"Usagi…" he trailed off lightly. "I really think we need to get everything out in the open. There's a lot to say… but I can't say it here. Would you please come back to my apartment? I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, that I won't hurt you or try anything on you."

I thought for what seemed like a long time. "… All right."

-----

Snuggling myself up against the soft blanket, I tucked it against my body, letting out a content sigh. He had set a fire on the logs in the fireplace, the heat slowly spreading across the room. The couch sat directly in front of it, so I had a nice view. I watched as the red swirled around, dancing in the air, then disappearing. Sparks shot from one end or another, also going off into the darkness of the fireplace, not to be seen again.

The apartment hadn't changed much since I'd been here last. A couple new flower pots here, a new CD player, but not much besides that. The walls were white, almost gray, everything else blending in with the bland color. I always wanted to do something to make everything look brighter, but he didn't like any of my ideas. Your home reflects your personality, I guess. He wasn't really that boring. Once you got him away from the schoolbooks, he can be really playful. Didn't get to see that side too often, though. I wish I did. Maybe things would've been different somehow.

I felt a smooth object being forced gently into my open hands, quickly snapping my attention downwards, I saw it was a simple white mug filled with steaming hot coca that warmed up my slightly cool skin at the contact. Mamoru had taken a seat next to me, setting his own hot mug on the glass coffee table in front of the couch.

"Where to start…" he said to break the silence.

"I really don't know what to say," I told him honestly.

"Me neither. I think we know what to say, but we don't want to say it."

"You're probably right."

I could see him rub his finger along the side of his hand slowly, thinking silently. He didn't dare make eye contact. Neither did I.

"I miss you," he admitted quietly. I ran my finger along the rim of my mug, feeling the steam press up against my skin for a second, then dissipated. When I didn't reply, he continued, "I know you might think I'm only saying it, but I mean it. My life is so… boring without you. Go to the arcade, then school, my job, then back at home. Every day, nothing different. But when you were here… There'd always be something new. You'd pop by while I was studying with a plate of charcoal cookies, but I'd eat them anyway, just for you. We'd sit here for the longest time, either with you leaning on me, sleeping, or listening to music. You'd even drag me off into some sort of store, begging me to buy something, or else you'd die from not having whatever it was. Then I'd laugh. I miss laughing like that."

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him as he spoke, slowly taking in each word. I don't ever remember him being so… personal about anything. I liked it, though. Absently, I placed the mug on the coffee table, searching for the words.

"I miss all that, too," I told him in a whisper. "All I wanted… was for you to pay more attention to me. We barely ever kissed or hugged. I didn't mind us just spending time together, I guess deep in my heart, I wanted… more."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. You know about… what happened with my parents. After that, it was hard for me to get close with anyone, even you. I never opened up my heart because I thought, in the end, something bad would happen to you… And if I never got close to you, then it wouldn't hurt as much."

I blinked, turning myself to him completely, saying, "Nothing will happen to me. What happened with your mom and dad… All the time, I wish that never happened… but you can't let that stop you from being close to people. That's what makes you feel special and loved, being close to someone."

"What if something _does_ happen, though?"

"That's a risk everyone takes. At any moment, anybody can die, or get hurt, but that's how life works. It's all a huge risk, but without the risk, what kind of life is it? Not much of one."

He nodded his head. "I suppose you're right…"

"I am right," I said with a soft smile.

"So… If I opened up my heart, you'd come back to me?" he asked with a slight choke in his words.

"I… don't know."

The slight glimmer of hope in his azure eyes faded in an instant, and he looked down at the ground, hopeless. "I see."

"Mamo-chan…" I whispered blankly.

The room was silent for a moment. He set his gaze back at me, now surprised.

"What did you call me…?"

"I…" my voice trailed off, not able to finish my sentence. I honestly couldn't answer him. It came out naturally without thinking.

"I thought 'Mamo-chan' was a name for lovers," he told me in a slightly bitter tone.

"It is," was all I could manage to say.

He then asked me, "How long are you going to keep denying your feelings?"

Without another word, our gazes came in contact. I could see a spark held in his deep eyes as he stared at me, content and calm. The light of the fire flickered against his features, casting a shadow on a part of his face, the other glimmering an orange color, revealing the soft yet masculine features of his face. His smooth, very lightly golden skin, cerulean eyes more beautiful than I had seen on any other man, crevices on his face smooth as they gave him very handsome features fit for a model, soft black tendrils of hair falling into his eyes. My hand itched to brush it back. This time, without thought or ration, I did just that. Raising my hand very slowly, I reached up to his face, gently pushing back the soft locks along his forehead, only for them to fall back in place seconds later. In all that time, our gazes never went astray.

As I was letting my hand fall back away from his face, he took it in his own hand before it became out of reach. He brushed the palm of my hand up against his sinfully soft pink lips, his eyes drifting to shut halfway as I watched his every movement. The light but very effective contact made my cheeks heat up, hopefully not enough for him to notice. He lay tiny butterfly kisses along the very edge of my skin, making it tingle at every kiss.

Regretfully, I removed my hand away. A shade of hurt flashed in his eyes, but quickly faded as he saw me leaning forward. Soundlessly, I captured my lips with his, letting the lids of my eyes drift shut. He didn't make any sort of movement in fear of me running away, so to rid this fear, I placed my hand at the back of his neck and tilted my head upward, putting gentle pressure into the kiss. Soon he responded, placing his hands at my lower back, pulling me into the kiss further. He made the next move, opening his mouth very slightly, and I felt the warm friction up against my lips, also beginning to massage my lips against his own. Becoming bolder, I wrapped my arms around his neck, fully pressing myself up against him, feeling his smooth, heated skin through the material of his shirt.

Surprised at this, he decided to do something I didn't expect. I felt a wet, silky pressure up against my lips, realizing it was the tip of his tongue, brushing up against my top lip, asking for access. Instantly, I opened my mouth, feeling it slip through and into my mouth. Very gently, he massaged the tip of his tongue up against my own. I ran my own along its soft ridges, savoring the relaxing sensation running throughout my body. After he had moved his tongue all around my mouth, as if he was memorizing where every bump and ridge was, he broke the kiss. My eyes still closed, he pressed his lips gently up against each of my cheeks, then my forehead, chin, and continued slowly, covering every inch on my face.

He retreated for a second. Then I felt something brush up against my ear, nearly making me jump. I opened my eyes a bit, seeing a blurred image, half of his face up against my own as he lay kisses along my ear, each kiss making little static vibrations run from the area touched. He moved his kisses slightly lower, making a trail along the top of my neck.

He came back up to my ear, whispering so I could feel his hot breath collide with my skin, "Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head in response, my mind practically mush at this point. I could see him smile at the look on my face, dazed as ever. He made another trail of kisses down my neck, arriving at the nape. He pushed away my jacket, letting it glide off my now bare shoulders and onto the couch. The newly revealed skin was soon scathed as he lowered his head, placing kisses along my shoulder, stroking his lips against my collarbone, making another spark run through my body, a nearly inaudible moan escape my parted lips at the sensation. Respectfully, he kept his hands at the base of my back, but let his hands slip under the hem of my shirt. My warm skin met with his cold hands, and he kept them at that spot, not wanting me to be uncomfortable.

I couldn't describe the feelings he was giving me. I had never experienced anything like this before, and I liked it… a lot. I might've not liked it with any other guy, but with Mamoru, I know he'll keep me safe. I know I can trust him. He wouldn't force me into anything I didn't want. And I loved him for that.

As he was nipping at the sensitive skin of my neck, something caught my eye. I could barely make it out, but in my eyes, I could see it as clear as day. A piece of clothing: red and lacy. Suddenly I felt my stomach drop. Mamoru was numb to me now, and all his touches I was immune to. Pushing him forcefully off me, I saw his eyes open, dumbfounded at the sudden move. I pushed myself off the couch, his eyes cautiously following me.

Near fiery rage held in my eyes, I picked the garment off the floor, letting it dangle between two of my fingers as I stared accusingly at him.

"What the hell is this?"

-----

Yay, I finally got this out. Hopefully it reached your expectations…? I'm glad I finally got to write a kissing scene. I like those. And _finally_ the R (or 'M', as it's now called) rating is kicking in! Anyway… Tell me what you thought. Please? - Pout - I'll give you a cookie?


	7. Running on Empty Once Again

Sorry, this took much longer than I expected.. and I hope I didn't lost any fans of the story. – sadness – Hm, so enjoy and whatnot. Remember to review. Suggestions, comments, anything, long as it's good. :p

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**Chapter Seven—Running on Empty Once Again  
**

Silence.

"I asked you a question," I whispered huskily. Please, God, let this not be what I think it is. Let it be a misunderstanding. Let it belong to his sister or cousin or something. Please. I won't ask for anything else ever again.

"I…" he trailed off, silencing, not even having the guts to return my hard gaze. He sat frozen, arms dangling between his legs limply, gaze singeing into the carpet.

"Well?" I pressed through my anger and guilt. "Is it that girl? That pretty brunette?"

When I was met with more coarse silence, I lowered my arm and let the bra slip between my fingers and tumble haphazardly onto the floor. The absence of words spoke more than I wanted to know. My head tilted forward slightly, the tears threatening to fall, burning angrily against the crevices of my eyes. I let a moment pass by, then another, and finally, I took a long, deep breath, the tears soaking back into their place, some deciding to stubbornly remain.

"I see," I spoke in a low whisper. A salty drop made a wet trail down my cheek, but I didn't notice it much. I could see him shake his head, most likely at himself. For some reason, I continued to stand there, as if I thought at any given moment he would break the tension in the room with his calm, suave words that have soothed many other pains. None came. Not one. The air seeming to press even more harshly on my body, I treaded heavily to the front door, feet dragging with the weight of lead. I took my coat off the rack where it was so neatly placed, closing the door shut softly behind me.

The chilling night wind I met outside wasn't as refreshing as I'd hoped. In fact, it was like a slap in the face, forcing the tears cradled in my eyes to be pushed back into their place, the trails running down my warm cheeks turning into pure ice at the wind's unforgiving touch. The air entered my lungs, the sweet poison entering my body then leaving again. People crossed by me on the street, oblivious, lost in their own perfect worlds. Right now, I wish I was one of them. Right now, I wish I hadn't just seen or heard any of that. Right now, I wish I wasn't hurting so much that my felt like it was being squeezed until it was completely suffocated. How could he do that to me? Was all of that he said a lie? He sounded so sincere… and I fell for it. Like the idiot I am.

In the depths of my heart, I knew I missed him more than anything on earth. He made me feel special, something not many people have been able to do in my life. Despite being ignored, he was mine. He was mine to stare at, to dream about, to be with… forever, I had thought. I loved him so much, it hurt when he wasn't around. I tried to show my affection, but it showed to be clingy, which he didn't like too much and simply brushed me off whenever I'd try to hug him or show any kind of love I felt at that moment. Tonight, I let my guard down, and look what happened. I believed his words. I really did. I just wish they weren't all lies. For that moment, I felt like maybe, just maybe, we had returned back to normal, only better… but I guess that was wishful thinking. I refuse for my fate to be another notch on his bedpost. I guess I never really thought he'd be that type of person, but things can be deceiving.

With wavering pride, I took one last glance down the long, darkened street.

Dull blackness swallowed everything in sight.

-----

"_You have three new messages,_" the familiar monotonous voice on the answering machine stated. "_Message received… Sunday, November 13th, 10:31 P.M… _'Usagi? It's Mamoru… Look, I'm—' "

I pressed down the button harshly.

"_Message erased… Message received… Sunday, November 13th, 10:48 P.M… '_It's me again. You didn't pick up so I'm guessing'—"

Once again, I pressed the button, beginning to be irritated.

"_Message erased… Message received… Sunday, November 13th, 11:03 P.M_… 'Usagi, I know you keep pushing the erase button, so don't.' "

I blinked, staring at the black machine blankly, my finger looming dangerously over the 'erase' button. How the hell did he know that?

" 'So now that I got your attention… I need to explain myself. You were gone for so long that I became lonely… Really lonely. Normally I am anyway, but it became much worse after you left. Then I met Mitsuki.' "

I scorned at the very sound of her name. Mitsuki.

" 'And take that look off your face… Anyway, Mitsuki was just another girl in one of my classes. She seemed nice enough, I guess, but one night, we were studying, and she forced me into talking about what happened with you. I must've told her about you for… an hour, at least. To comfort me, she kissed me. I don't know… One thing after another happened, and she ended up coming for study sessions a lot more. We began hanging out sometimes. Once she spent the night. That's where 'it' comes in. I guess she left that thing there… but she never spent the night again. I felt too horrible about it. And no, we didn't do anything. Even though you might not believe me, it's the truth. So… I hope you at least listened. You know where I'll be.' __

… End of message."

Drained of any emotion, I crept into the dimly lit kitchen, feeling around the cabinets for my only friend: a bottle of alcohol. After all the incidents with Mamoru and living alone, it was hard to cope. So hard that I needed alcohol as some sort of secondary comfort. Never in my life would I drink, then go out and drive, or do something stupid. Each time I would take down enough to dull my senses, enough so I wouldn't have to feel. When the lightness numbed my head and my eyes needed to be focused, it would be time to go to sleep. Honestly, I don't like to drink, at all. It's better than lying in my bed, bawling endlessly throughout the night and doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself. Instead of being evil liquor that is one of the main causes of death, it's some sort of medicine. A bittersweet medicine.

The plastic cup half-filled with the remedy, I sauntered back into the living room, falling onto the couch. I shouldn't believe his words. His words, like candy, are sweet to your ears, maybe too sweet. He would sprinkle them with his own special romance and caring nature, making you want to believe them. I did. It didn't do me much good, but I figured it made me happy, so why not? 'Sorry, have to cancel our date' would be something a normal boyfriend would say, but not Mamoru. He would go 'Usako, I'll have to go without your smile another day, I have to work'. Like a fool, I'd soak up his words like a sad excuse for a sponge. It's easy to be blind when you stab yourself in the eyes.

Ugh, this stupid alcohol really burns your throat. Like it rubs up against my throat to purposely cause a burning pain. The aftertaste is even worse. You'd think the smell would drive me away. First time I spun the cap off the top, the acrid stench floated right up to where I was breathing. Now I hold the bottle away from me. At least I'm kind of getting used to it by now. Enough so I don't throw up. That itself wasn't very pleasant. Especially when you had a stack of fresh hamburgers right before drinking it. Not a good combo.

Mamoru… To think, one day, I pictured being fitted into a silky white dress and marching happily down a long aisle, where you'd be there, waiting with a smile. Flowers would be scattered around, mostly white roses, and red ones, because you love them to death. You'd be standing there in the sunlight, handsome as ever, as if you were born into a tuxedo. You'd make me feel like a princess. That's all I really wanted in life, to get married and have children. I even thought of skipping college just so we could raise children. If I would've told you any of that, would it matter at all? Would you change?

I don't think you ever will. I'm sure you have plenty of pretty-faced Mitsuki's to throw around like rag dolls, who'd giggle at any cute little comment you'd make, who'd let you screw them on your every whim. They'd satisfy you for, what? A week? Then what? You'd find someone else and do the exact same thing? I can't stand the thought of that. Sure, you told me that lovely story of how she accidentally left her underwear at your apartment, but honestly, you can do whatever you want. It's none of my business anymore. You do whatever you want. Tell your stories to anyone who will listen.

Once upon a time, I fell for your pretty words and sugar coated promises. Too bad my life isn't a fucking fairytale anymore.

-----

"Wake-y, wake-y!" a bright voice split straight through my head. Blinking two sleepy eyes open, I saw none other than the great Minako, hovering over me with a huge grin on her face. "Time to greet the day! It's beautiful out, take a look."

Skipping jauntily over to the curtain, she pulled the string, showering the room with vivid streams of light. I felt somewhat light-headed from drinking last night, not too bad, and checked the clock. Nine freakin' A.M. Craning my head, I could see her jumping around the room, rummaging around my closet like she usually does.

"Jesus, it's too early in the morning for you to be so chipper. Go out and come back in," came my unwelcoming grumble as I squeezed my pillow tightly over my head.

As you can see, I'm not the happiest person when I wake up, especially after drinking a full cup of bitter-tasting liquor. I could still feel traces of it resting in my mouth. Blech. Ask anyone, though, any given morning, you'd think I was sent from the Devil. I think I even bit Shingo a couple times when he pulled the covers off me. Then again, that was pretty fun.

"Now now, don't be so mean. There's this little thing called work, and you happen to have that today."

"Screw work."

I could feel her glare on me. "Fine, don't go. Get docked from a day's pay. Leave a stack of papers on the desk that just keep piling up until they reach the sky. Hell, might even get fired!"

"Good," I mumbled from under the pillow.

"Being the gracious person that I am, I decided to come over and give you a friendly wake-up call… and bring breakfast."

"Food?" I peeked from under my soft barrier.

"Thought that'd get your attention." She slipped a box of freshly powdered doughnuts, all stacked in neat rows, waiting for me to devour them. Mouth drooling, I finally sat up and began shoveling them down. Minako took a seat next to me, trying to sneak one, but I hit her hand away and carefully moved the box out of her reach.

"Geeze," she pouted. "You think you'd be nicer to someone who brought you breakfast AND saved you from missing work, but nooo… Nobody thanks nice little Minako, she has to be tormented in the savage ways of so many cruel, unloving people."

I licked off some extra white powder that was stuck to my finger. "You really oughta stop talking about yourself in the third person. It gets creepy after awhile."

"Funny, that's what my psychiatrist said to me, too."

"Can't imagine why."

Suddenly launching into her bubbly mode, she said, "Say, Usa, I have an idea. Why don't we have a sleepover."

"Sleepover?"

"Yeah, c'mon, it'll be fun! Just you, me, Makoto, Rei, Ami, Motoki—"

"Whoa whoa," I stopped her, placing my bitten doughnut back into the box. "Hold on a second there, cowgirl. I'm not having a sleepover so you can have some lame excuse to explore a new way to exercise your raging hormones. I mean, I just washed my sheets and all."

"Pleeease? I promise I won't make out with him on your bed… Just little pecks, promise. Plus we can play games and stuff. Mako-chan can bake us some of her famous creamy peanut butter cookies."

Even though I was shoving down doughnuts, the sound of cookies made my stomach growl.

"Okay, sounds good."

"Great! Annnnd, I just happened to know a few guys that might want to join us…"

"Mina-chan…" I warned.

"Give 'em a chance, Usa. I know this one great guy. He's a model and everything. I posed with him a couple times, already checked out the gay factor, which was negative. Great body and beautiful blonde hair, too. Well… You know, not as good as _mine_, but a close second. Plus, you know how those British guys are? Gotta love their accent."

"Mm, true. Accents are pretty cute," I nodded, smiling. "It'd be nice to have someone different over here. Should we invite him?"

"Well… I already did."

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised," I said, shaking my head at her.

"What do you think, gonna try anything romantically or what?"

"I dunno… A lot has happened lately."

"Liiike?"

"Like with Mamoru."

"Really!" she exclaimed, jumping forward on the bed and nearly knocking me over. "Tell!"

"You know after the club yesterday, how I went outside with Mamoru?"

"I wanted to ask you about that…"

"Yeah well… We talked for a bit and decided to go up to his apartment. One thing lead to another, and we ended up making out on the couch."

Instead of the cheerful response I was expecting, she crinkled up her nose at the idea. "Usa-chan, he's been a complete jerk to you. He doesn't deserve you. Seriously."

"I guess," I sighed, thinking to myself. "But Mina-chan, the setting was so perfect: room dark with a hint of light coming from the fireplace, warmness from the heat of the fire, his scent…"

At that, she grabbed my shoulders with her hands, forcing me to look directly in her eyes as she told me, "Listen, Usa. Mamoru **does not deserve you**. Not in this lifetime, not in the next. He dumped you because of his age insecurity, even though it really isn't that huge of a difference, went with some other girl when you left, and toyed with your emotions. Now, I consider myself a good judge of character, and I really, truly liked him. I thought he'd be good for you, until I heard all this crap he was pulling. Now I have no idea what to think of him."

"… I found her underwear in his apartment."

Her face drained, turning into a ghostly white. Then, seconds later, her cheeks began to burn, darker than I had ever seen them.

"What?" she choked out.

"He said she left them there, they didn't do anything… they were studying and she left it there."

"You believed that shit?"

"Well… Sort of."

"Usagi," she spoke my name dully, "Come on. Time for work."

Leaving me to sit there in slight awe, she pushed a mini-skirt and t-shirt toward me on the bed, then rushed out of my apartment, stomping on the ground so hard I thought the wood might break under her feet.

-----

It's pretty easy not to think about things when you're caught up in bundles of confusing paperwork. My typing skills even improved with doing so much on the computer. I'm no whiz or anything, but I can get by. The work itself was easy, it was just the paperwork; send those to management, proofread these files, order these according to exact date and time. Took a lot out of you.

When I got to the building, Minako was nowhere to be seen, which was rare for her. Normally I'd find her primping in the powder room, or at least prodding her face in some sort of mirror. She left in such a hurry. Not even a phone call. I hope nothing bad happened.

"My lovely best friend!" I heard a light voice exclaim. Looking up from the bright screen, I saw Minako standing there, haughtily, proud. I don't like that look. "Good, you made it to work. Didn't want you to fall back asleep or anything."

"Mina-chan, what happened to you? You're an hour late. And here you were badgering me about coming on time to work."

"I'm allowed to be late," she said airily, leaning on the desk.

"Yeah, yeah. Where were you?"

"Oh, you know… Home, beauty parlor, Mamoru's house—"

"WHAT?" I screeched so loud that people passing by stopped in their tracks to blink and stare blankly at me. Psht, take a freakin picture already.

She smiled oh-so-innocently at the passer-bye's to fend them off. "Calm down, girl, I handled it."

"Handled what? There was nothing to handle."

"Hm, I happened to think there was, especially after all the crap he fed me."

"What'd he say?"

"If I remember correctly…" she trailed off, "It was 'Ow, fuck, my balls'. But I could've been mistaken."

"What did you do?" I asked in horror. This can't be good, not with that grin on her face.

"Lets just say Mamoru won't be walking right for awhile."

"MINA!"

"What? He's a bastard, and bastards get what they deserve! So he won't be using his dick for anything useful for awhile, big whoop, serves him right."

"I can't believe you did that!"

"I can," she laughed. "Funniest sight, too. Ah, what a Kodak moment. Chiba Mamoru, kneeling down on the floor, face red as a hot steaming tomato. I think his eyes even crossed. Now that's a sight you don't see every day."

"Lord," I mumbled, burying my face in my hands. "Why the hell did you go and do that? I had the situation under control."

"Under control? You call making out in Mamoru's apartment and finding some girl's underwear 'under control'? I know you, Usa, better than you know yourself. I know that a couple weeks later you'd be back there, doing the exact same thing, forgiving him for whatever the hell he's done, maybe going even a bit farther."

I sighed. "You don't understand."

"Oh, I understand perfectly," she cut me off in an instant, on the brink of anger. "You almost had sex with a man that probably did the same exact thing with that brunette only days before on that very same couch. He thought 'Hey, might as well have a blonde! My quota needs to be met!' The bastard. As your almost-sister, I completely forbid you seeing him ever again, unless by accident."

"Mina…"

"Don't argue. It's what's best for you. I know, this is rough, but I can't stand seeing you like this again. He's going to keep gently pushing and pushing until he gets exactly what he wants, then throw you away into the trash. I tell you, I won't have it. I told him the same thing, so if he tries to contact you in any way, he'll be in for another ass kicking. Best part is, I'm a girl. He can't hit back."

With a triumphant grin, she sauntered off into the make-up room, an extra spring in her step. Left once again, I leaned back onto my chair, mentally exhausted. I guess I can't blame Minako. If I was in her position, and some guy did that to her, I'd defend her in an instant. She's right, it's probably best for me not to have any contact with him anymore. It'll only lead to pain. And I've had enough pain in a month than I can take. Maybe… it's time to broaden my horizons. Meet new people. Networking worked for Minako, why not me? I'm pretty friendly. Might work.

-----

My friends and I were gathered around the living room floor in a circle, dressed comfortably in our PJ's, with bowls of buttered microwave popcorn scattered around, along with a flurry of multi-colored pillows. We were all laughing at something Minako had said.

"So tell us the truth, Rei… Any guys we should know about that are in the picture?" Minako asked Rei with an evil smile.

"Of course not! Too busy with school," she told her indignantly. "Unlike you, I don't need a man to support me and stay by my side every second of the day."

"When it's Motoki, I think I can handle it," the blonde said with a giggle, landing a peck on Motoki's cheek. A faint pink blush appeared on his cheeks.

"Mina-chan…" he mumbled, embarrassed.

Minako squeezed her boyfriend's shoulders, needing the Jaws of Life to break them apart. "Aww, I love it when you're all shy. It's soo cute."

Rei shoved a handful of warm popcorn in her mouth, saying, "Will you two cut it out? You're gonna make me blow chunks over here."

We all laughed.

"Hey, if you do that, point yourself in _another_ direction, will you?" Makoto added in. We heard the bathroom door creek open and there stood one of the most beautiful men I've seen in my life, no joke. When Minako said this guy was hot, she didn't say enough. Soft blonde hair layered over his head, reaching just past his shining emerald eyes. Full washboard stomach, golden tanned skin that was smooth to the touch, and delicate facial features that held a hint of masculinity. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a crush already.

"Sorry it took me so long," he apologized, taking the nearest seat next to me, making my heart jump a bit. He radiated some kind of scent, smelled like a mix of fresh water and lilies. I nearly fainted right there.

"Finally! I'll bet twenty big ones you were staring at yourself in the mirror for ten minutes. I swear, London, sometimes you worry me," Minako teased. He simply laughed in response, showing off his warm smile.

"Be nice, Mina-chan," I warned her. "I'm sure he wasn't doing that."

"Oh, right right, he was probably doing something else. It did take quite awhile. Perhaps he could've used your help," she suggested, winking in my direction.

While they laughed, I could see a slight blush held on his cheeks.

I blinked, confused. "Did I miss something?"

"It's nothing," Makoto assured me, shaking off her laughter.

"Noo, I wanna know!" I whined, sticking out my lower lip in an attempt to pout.

Minako grinned. "Really, it's nothing, just a joke."

"Ugh, fine, but you'd better tell me later."

"I think I'll leave that to London."

Once again, his face turned a million shades of red, but he tried desperately to cover it up with his laughter. God, he was cute.

"Anyways, I'm starving!" Minako interjected suddenly, face lit up. "Say, Usagi-chan, could you go check on the cake?" Makoto and I started baking a huge double chocolate cake awhile ago. I could smell the aroma floating from the kitchen, and it made my stomach rumble. Food…

"Okay, I'll be right back."

When I got a look at the cake and poked it with a fork in the middle (like Mako said to do), it was too soft, so I closed the oven door again, the heat slowly disappearing. With quick glances around the room, I grabbed the bowl we used to mix the batter with and hopped onto the counter, swirling my finger all around the sides, gathering up some of the creamy goodness, and slipped it into my mouth. Mm, good stuff. Maybe I'll be a cook someday or something if I get good enough. I don't even burn cookies anymore. Well… There _was_ a fire and all, but who knew you could actually leave the stupid tray in the oven for too long? I thought it was good for the cookies or whatever.

"Having fun?" a masculine voice asked, making me nearly fall off the counter. With surprised eyes, I saw London leaning up against the doorframe, a light smirk held on his features. Man, I knew it, Minako set this up. Should've saw it coming. Damn her.

"Err, hi. Sorry, taking a little break, I guess," I told him, sounding really corny.

"Yeah, me too. Minako can be pretty exhausting."

"Tell me about it. I've known her for a long time, and I haven't seen her tired once. She just goes on and on, like the Energizer Bunny."

With an amused laugh, he pushed himself off the doorframe and took his place next to me, instead leaning on the counter. I began shoveling the batter into my mouth, nervousness racking throughout me. Sure, I liked him and all, but I dunno… Something's stopping me.

"So… I like your apartment," he started off slowly, eyeing me. When I had the nerve to look at his face, I could plainly see the hunger held in his gaze. Shit, shit, shit.

"Um, yeah, I like it."

Wow, what a lovely conversation. Not.

"You decorate it yourself?"

"Nah, the girls hel—" before I could finish my sentence, something quickly pressed up against me, mainly London's lips. On instinct, I once again almost fell of the counter, but he locked his hands swiftly on my hips. This was all happening too fast. We just met today… but I guess I should try and enjoy it. He is attractive. So I leaned into the kiss slightly… and waited.

… And waited.

Nothing. No fireworks, no fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach, absolutely nothing. My eyes creaked open carefully, only seeing a patch of hair blocking my view. I gaped boredly at the blonde patch of hair, waiting for this to be over. When he didn't pull back, I wondered if he suddenly turned into a statue. In an attempt to move away, he somehow mistook it for me trying to get further into the kiss by changing positions, and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

Stiffly, he graded his tongue up against the surface of my lips. I cringed. He didn't seem to notice, or care, and shoved the saliva-covered object into my mouth. Trying to wiggle away from his grasp, he let out a slight chuckle from his open mouth and began whirling his tongue around every corner of my mouth, like he was trying to give it a fucking spit shine. I could taste a hint of his afternoon lunch of pizza and soda as his tongue prodded my mouth. I felt like throwing up.

Knowing this had gone way too far for my liking, I placed my hands on his chest and shoved as hard as I could, nearly knocking him off his feet in surprise. He stumbled back, eyes wide.

"What'd you do that for?" he asked, then grinned evilly. "… Oh, I see, you like it like that. Okay, I can play the hard to get game."

I wiped the back of my hand against my mouth, attempting to get rid of his germs. "No offense or anything, but that was the most disgusting thing I've ever done in my life. And I've eaten frog's legs before. Think about it."

"Aw, come on, you know you liked it."

Was he seriously that dense? Did he not just see me wipe away his spit? Come on now. "Um, no, I didn't."

He shot a fake smile at me. "I think you did."

"I just said I didn't," I told him, getting annoyed.

"Right, right, I gocha. I should get back, but don't worry, though. I'll be back for you later," he threw a lame wink in my direction and finally went away.

Joy.

A trace of his nasty pizza breath lingered in my mouth. I leaned over the sink as soon as he was out of sight. Turning on the faucet, I rapidly shoved handfuls of water into my mouth, hoping to get rid of the taste. God, that was horrible… I thought I'd enjoy it. You'd think a model with (probably) tons of experiences with women would at least be a good kisser. I felt more like the dirt being sucked up by a wet, blonde vacuum. Blech. Remind me to never do that again.

They'd probably think I died or something if I didn't go back, so I did. When I took my seat, Minako had a hidden twinkle in her eye, while London's eyes kept roaming ravenously over my body. I made a disgusted look toward him and scooted away from his reach. Everyone turned away from throwing mounds of popcorn at each other and watched.

"So… The cake wasn't ready?" Makoto asked to break the silence.

"Nah, still needs awhile longer," I told her, acting like none of that happened. I wanted to forget all about it, so technically, it didn't. I decided to change the subject. "Do you guys wanna watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, I'll go put one in," Minako, always the eager one, popped up from her place in Motoki's arms and skipped over to the television. We all set up layers of blankets scattered at different places in front of the TV, making sure my 'bed' was as far away from London as humanly possible. Still, being the idiot he is, he continued to smile and smile with his perfect while teeth glowing like a headlight. He ended up lying next to Rei. She'd better be careful, or else she might get sucked up.

Soon as the movie started, Motoki and Minako slipped under the covers and went into a heavy make-out session. Faintly we could hear them giggle, but would stop moving as soon as they did, as if we already didn't know what they were doing. I think that after a month of them one way or another making out on my floor, I'd notice.

The movie was some routine romantic comedy. I didn't really pay attention. Lying on my stomach, I lay my head on top of my folded arms, not tired enough to fall asleep, but too tired to actually do anything. I stared out somewhere into the slightly lit room, hoping I'd just get bored enough and fall asleep. My attention span's too short.

-----

"Usagi," I heard someone's voice say, while the person shook my body. "USAGI!"

Groaning, I turned my head away from the sunlight burning against my closed eyes, too tired to care, and tried my best to fall asleep again.

"USAGI!"

I felt a poke at my side, but wrapped the blanket tightly around myself, relaxing into another position.

"Usaaaaa, come on, don't make me do this…" But I didn't pay attention to anything other than falling back asleep.

The blankets that were keeping me nice and heated were pulled out from under me, and once again I let out a long groan, squinting my watery eyes to see Minako with her second unneeded wake-up call.

"I was sleeping, you know," I grumbled, propping myself on my elbow, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Soon as I did, I could see only Minako was in the room. In fact, even the blankets were gone. "Hey, what happened to everyone?"

"They left an hour ago. I tried to wake you up, but you're like a rock when you sleep. I don't think you were even breathing... But it's already nine, so I have to go soon. You, lucky girl, have the day off."

"Then why did you wake me?" I stuck out my lower lip, looking up at her with baby-ish eyes.

"Becaaaause, you got a letter you might find interesting."

I raised a brow at her and said, teasingly, "You go through my mail, too? Talk about making yourself at home."

"Yeah yeah, just look at it."

She handed me the white envelope, my excitement growing, the traces of sleep quickly fading away. I wondered what it could be, and without looking at the front, I ripped open the top part of the fold. Pulling the thick matching white paper out of its place, I stared at it for a long time.

"Minako… This is a bill."

"I know, but it's your first _real_ bill! Isn't it great?" she exclaimed happily, hopping over to grab her coat from the floor. "Well, I'm off. Bye!"

Staring at her disappearing figure, I shook my head, laughing. Without fail, she could put me in a good mood, even at the dreaded early hours of the morning.

-----


End file.
